METH : A series of unrelated One-Shots
by steffy2106
Summary: This story will be a series of one-shots for Beth/Merle relationship...if you don't like METH don't read that. It will be updated sporadically and based on songs, movies, books etc... that might inspire me to share my love for Meth. It will be updated in the spur of the moment. NO METH HATERS PLEASE! DON'T LIKE THEM? DON'T READ THEM
1. Chapter 1

**A.N:**

Okay, you need to know my dark secret, I am a Merle/Beth….also knows as METH fan. I wanted to write a full story for them, but I decided to start by a one shot as Merle is overly complicated. I listened to the song Lullaby by Spill Canvas and it inspired me to write a METH story. Also a special thank you to **noxid anamchara** for her advice, she told me to just write him if I felt like it. Thank you girly.

Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer I don't own the Walking Dead.

**Steffy2106**

**Lullaby: **

Merle Dixon leaned against the wall following with his eyes as his brother's woman was taking his little angel to the showers.

She was walking slowly keeping her arm tight around Beth's waist as if she was going to crumble on the spot.

Merle grunted and shook his head, the girl was not as weak as everybody was thinking, there was so much strength there, strength and bravery he kept discovering for the past few months. He wanted to be the one taking her to the shower, he wanted to be the one to make sure she was okay, he saved her life for fuck sakes and when the governor retreated he didn't even have the chance to talk to her before Carol and Maggie came and took her away from him. Maggie didn't forget to throw him a venomous glare.

She had some fire in her that one; he couldn't help but wonder how the Chinaman was keeping her satisfied. He chuckled.

He heard the uneven steps behind him and didn't need to turn to know it was the old farmer.

"What d'ya want?" He asked, as Herhel stopped a few steps behind him. "Jest checkin the girl's fine, y'all took her away from me so fast. I ain't gonna hurt her ya know."

"I know you won't. I know you'd rather die than let anything happen to my Bethy."

"Wouldn't go that far ol'man. I was jest at the right place right time." He crossed his arms on his chest.

Hershel looked up to him. "If that's your story. I was wondering if you had a few minutes for me Merle, I'd like to talk to you."

Merle shrugged. "Jest talk ol'man."

"Not here, in private…Just come to my cell please, and call me 'old man' once more I will shove my foot so high up your ass we'll need an excavation team to get it out, did I make myself clear?"

Merle couldn't help to smile at that, he liked the old man; he was one of the few that didn't seem to see Merle as a threat. "Woudn't want ya to do that, we can't say ya have a foot to spare."

Hershel snorted, walking the direction of his cell. "I wanted to talk to you about Bethy." He said as soon as they reached the cell. "Please sit."

Merle shook his head, and started to pace. He knew it would happen, people didn't trust men like him with their women, especially when they were as innocent and fragile as the girl. He was even surprised people didn't stop them from getting closer before.

"Jest say it, that even if ya appreciate me saving yer girl you want me to stay away from her, that she's young and impressionable and that you don't think we should be friend."

Hershel nodded trying his best to hide his smile. Merle was getting so worked up without even realizing it.

"But ya need to know I ain't never hurt a woman none, if I had an idea they would hurt yer Maggie I woudn't have stand by it."

"I know, and I think you're good for my Bethy."

Merle looked at Hershel through narrow slits, the old farmer couldn't think that, Merle was not an idiot he knew he was good for no one, especially not the sweet blond angel.

Hershel chuckled. "Don't get me wrong, in the world we had before I would have shot you so fast for just looking at my daughter the way you do."

"I ain't lookin at her, she is jest a good kid."

Hershel continued like Merle didn't interrupt him, he knew it would be hard for the younger man to admit his bond to his daughter, he was not even sure he knew it himself. "But the world changed, you step outside, you risk your life. You take a drink of water, you risk your life. You don't have a choice. The only thing you can choose is what you're risking it for. As for my Bethy, she has had her fair share of heartbreak and losses, she grew older than her 19 years…The light in her eyes dimmed and I was scared I would lose this side of her, but this bright light is still here. The thing is I only see it when she's with you. In this world I want her to be as happy as she can be, I want her to find someone that would die for her to live, and I believe you might be that man."

Merle closed his eyes for a second, and let the words sink in. He didn't even understand why hearing this made him happy, but it was all he wanted to hear. He realized right on the spot that keeping his angel safe and happy was the only thing he wanted.

"My Bethy sees things in people, just like her mother could see things other people couldn't see. I thank god my Annette saw past all my bad behaviour, she was my saviour in so many level. Where Josephine, my first wife, was all fire like my Maggie is, Annette was all sweetness and heart, but she also was the strongest woman I had ever met, standing by me through thick and thin…"

"Not that it's not fascinating what yer sayin Ol'….Hershel but really I don't have time to-" Merle wanted to go and check on Beth before his shift started. She had been in shock; he just wanted to make sure she was still there somewhere.

Hershel raised his hand. "I intervened in your favor with Rick, I told him not to underestimate your loyalty to your brother, but I have been wrong there is something that surpasses the loyalty to your brother, it's what you feel for my Bethy. I saw you today, when they attacked…. You could either have Daryl's back or saved Beth, you didn't hesitate, you didn't think, you ran to her and put your arm between the walker's mouth and her neck."

"Nothin' happened between us." Merle knew there was no reason for him to deny it, he had a choice to make out there and he had surprised himself to run away from Daryl to save Beth. If anyone would have told him he would have chosen anybody over his brother he would have scoffed or punched them.

"Just, just know that if you two ever decide to become more than friends I will not stand in your way."

"But—"

"She wants to see you," said Carol coming to the cell.

Hershel stood.

"No," Carol jerked her head toward Merle. "Sorry Hershel she wants to see him."

Hershel smiled. "It's quite alright." He was actually pleased his Bethy wanted to see Merle; it meant she was not closing herself off.

Carol stayed with Hershel as Merle went to Beth's cell.

Merle had lied to Hershel when he told him nothing happened with Beth. It had been a couple of days since she came with a coffee for him in the tower. She was always blushing when she was nervous, and he loved it when she blushed.

"_Come in sugar," he had said his back to her. _

"_I… Carol asked me to bring you coffee. How did you know it was me?"_

"_I saw ya come from over there," he said pointing to the door. "With your blond hair and yer smile….you shine so bright it's insane, you put the sun to shame." _

_She looked down and blushed again, which made him smile wider, he might have been old enough to be her father but his charms worked just fine. _

"_I'm scared," she said barely louder than a whisper. _

_Merle had reached for her but let his hand hanging just above her shoulder not sure of what to do. He was not one to comfort people, if she needed that she better go to her daddy or officer friendly, but weirdly enough he didn't like the idea of anyone else comforting her. _

"_Why yer scared?"_

"_I heard you, Daryl, Rick and my dad talk yesterday about the governor. You said he was crazy, that you were expecting a massacre." _

_Merle wanted to kick himself; if he had known she had been there he wouldn't have said that. "Ya know ol'Merle say a lot of shit."_

_She looked up to me, as if she was just waiting for hope. _

_Merle sighed and rested his hand on her shoulder. "I won't let anythin' happen to ya sugar, no matter what I will keep ya safe, ya believe that right?"_

_Beth had brought a trembling hand to his cheek and cupped it. She expected him to slap it away but they were both surprised when he leaned into her touch. "I trust you." She stood on her toes and simply brushed her lips against his before running away. _

Merle brought his hands to his lips as if it just happened, it was a chaste kiss and yet it was the kiss that had the most effect on him, since that day he only wanted one thing, kiss her again but this time he wanted to kiss her Merle's style.

She was on her bunk, her arms around her legs and her forehead against her knees.

He looked at her for a minute. "Sugar?"

Beth looked up and smiled slowly. "Merle, thank you. You saved my life."

Merle walked in and sat on her bed, "Told ya I'll keep ya safe." Merle realized he saved her more for himself than he did for her. When he saw the walker about to bite her, his heart literally stopped in his chest.

She yawned coming closer to him.

"Jest sleep Angel, I'll keep ya safe."

"I need to tell you something Merle…When I thought I was going to die I realized I never told you."

"Told me what Angel?"

"I just….I think, no, I know…..I love you." She said looking away. "It's okay, you don't have to say anything."

Merle took in a sharp breathe; he didn't know what to say or what to do. Nobody had ever said that to him and certainly not someone like her. "Ya shouldn't waste yer love on me girl, I ain't worth it, find someone who deserve it."

She looked up and even if she tried to hide it Merle could see the hurt in her eyes. She laid down. "Lay down with me, just for a while, please."

Merle nodded, kicked his boots off, and laid down facing her. If only she knew how he was wrapped around her finger, how he would do anything, kill anybody in the world if she wanted him to.

She inched closer to him and rested her forehead against his. She was exhausted and it was hard for her to keep her eyes open.

Merle brought his hand to her face and gently rubbed her cheekbone. "Sleep Angel, I'll stay here with ya, I'll be here when ya wake up."

"Just…your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." She gently leaned and pecked his lips. "And I don't care if you think I am wasting my love on you, I know you're worth it."

Merle closed his eyes for a minute, hoping deep down that the old farmer was right and that she could see something deserving. "We'll talk later jest sleep." He pulled her closer.

Beth nodded turning around, resting her back against his chest. Merle moved a bit and kissed her neck where her necklaces' closed.

Merle didn't sleep; he was just at peace to hold her tight in his arm, to feel her chest rise up and down gently. After the horrible day they had, the only person she wanted was him, she felt safe with him and he loved that. He loved the way she looked at him….If he was honest her name was coursing through his veins; he needed to be with her.

He had to admit it she had taken a huge place in his life, much more than he wanted her to. She moved a bit and her body fit his perfectly. As she was sleeping he figured out everything, he had been constructed for her and she had been molded for him.

He kissed the top of her head and sighed. He was a big man, who had been beaten to the pulp, who cut his own hand, who had killed people and it took a barely legal, 100 lbs. angelic girl to take him down. Just a chaste kiss from her could take him to his knees.

He was falling for her, he knew it and there was no reason to fight it, it was too late…he was just going to enjoy the ride and hope he could become the man he was seeing, the man that deserved her trust and love.


	2. Chapter 2 - Nothing

**AN:** I feel like sharing my METH love. :D

This one is being inspired by the song **Nothing by The Script**. I hope you like it. If you think of a song or a movie that might be a good inspiration for a METH one shot just let me know...I'll see if it inspires me. Also big Kudos to SOA Loving mom for beta'ing this story.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the walking dead or the characters (unless Michael Rooker is interested but let's face it that's a WHOLE different story lol)

Read and Review thanks my lovelies

**Nothing:**

Beth was in her bed tossing and turning. It was almost time for her to sneak off and go meet Merle like she had been doing almost every night for the past month, but not tonight, she sighed in exasperation and turned once more facing the wall. She needed to be strong, she had to be. She couldn't believe how hard it was not to tip toe to his room and join him under his cover...It was like a physiological need, being with Merle Dixon, feeling his hard muscles, his burning skin, his callous hand on her soft skin...it seem to be just as important as the air that she breathed.

"Stop Bethy, you have to stop. It's enough now, you can't go keep going on like that." She whispered to herself, putting her pillow on her face.

She never intended for it to happen, she had been terrified by the man when he first came, especially after what he had done to Glenn and his sister but her father always told her she had to give the benefit of the doubt to people. One day, a couple of months ago, she had decided to talk to him as she brought him some food in the tower. She almost peed herself that day being alone with him, but he was not at all what she expected him to be he was so different when he was alone, not soft or anything like that, but human.

After that day, Beth went almost every day to the tower during his shift and just chatted...The man was not big on chit chats but the little things she could see she liked. He was funny, much smarter than he let people see, it was like he actually enjoyed people thinking the worse of him.

Two weeks later, he had challenged her to kiss him and she did. She enjoyed that kiss so much that she went for a second one as soon as he let her go. She had kissed Jimmy before, but kissing Merle Dixon was like an explosion of the senses...it was a complete contradiction of the senses, it was soft and rough, sweet and sour...Beth was addicted, just looking at his lips made her warm all over.

Merle and her discussed and they decided to keep what was going on between them a secret, the others would never understand, they would most likely kick him out if her daddy didn't kill him before. Hershel Greene might be a Christian but he also had his limit and Beth had to agree that he would never approve for a man twice her age being with her.

Beth had lost her innocent to Merle two weeks after they first kiss, he had given her a lot of outs before he made her his. He had been gentle, gentler than she thought he could ever be, he treated her like she was glass and he loved her that night...Loved her more than she thought it was possible. She knew it was only physical love, desire and passion and she knew it was the only thing he could offer and she accepted it greedily.

When they lay together that night, tired but satisfied she couldn't help but tell him she loved him and she knew that it was now or never, in this world we could die anytime and she didn't want to regret. _'You never regret sharing 'I love you' when you mean it'_ her mother told her once. And she truly loved that man, out of nowhere he had snuck into her heart and for the past month he had made a web around her heart so strong that she couldn't avoid it, she was not sure she even wanted to.

He had simply kissed the top of her head, holding her a bit tighter but she wasn't mad, she knew he didn't love her and probably never would. He had told her before they got physical that he couldn't and wouldn't love anyone. He also made it clear that it could never become more serious than that between them, he was not commitment material, that if she wanted a husband, a father for her children, or even a boyfriend he was not the right choice. He also told her it was one of the reasons they couldn't go public...ever.

She had accepted, she told him it was fine that she could be satisfied with that.

_Stupid girl_ she thought now rolling her eyes. This is where she knew that even if she was 19 in a world that is a lot like hell, she had been naive that day. She wanted him so much; she convinced herself that she could put aside all she believed in. She forgot about god, about her need to be loved. The more they were together, the more she wanted him, for the past month there was not a day when they were not making love, not a day where she didn't think deep, _deep_ down that it was going to be the day that he would realize he loved her too, that she was worth fighting his brother and her father for, but that day never came and never would.

She saw him helping Karen in the garden today, he was using his million dollar smile on her, he had put a strand of her hair behind her ear, seeing that hurt Beth beyond words, but she had no right to be hurt or mad, he never promised her to be faithful, he never promised her anything in fact, it was just her own stupidity that led her to think she at least meant something to him.

She went back to her cell and cried, and cried, and cried some more, until she had no more tears to shed. This was when she decided to call it quit, she couldn't keep doing that to herself and it was unfair for her to expect him to become something he was not. As much as she loved him, she had to admit it was time to stop , for both their sakes and for her own mental health.

It was just much harder than she thought; she knew he was in his bed right now, probably waiting for her completely naked.

She closed her eyes and prayed, she prayed for god to give her the strength to walk away from Merle Dixon, the man that was like her drug, cursing through her veins...The man that was as venomous for her heart as heroin.

**TWDTWDTWDTWD**

For the first time in years, Merle was woken up by his brother, nudging him roughly.

"The fuck Merle, ya think yer the stupid sleepin beauty? Shit we need to be gone in 30 minutes."

Merle growled and kicked his brother. "Shut the fuck up little brother. How many times did I need to get your pussy ass out of bed before uh?"

Daryl chuckled. "Yeah...I forgot yer getting old sometimes. How old are ya now? 46?"

"I'll show ya an old man can break yer pretty boy face. Jest fuck off now, I'll meet ya by the truck in 30 minutes."

Daryl shook his head and left laughing.

Merle was in a fool mood, and he was glad he was going on a run with Daryl; he could take his frustration on the fugly flesh-eating mofo out here. He had waiting for her girl for hours but she never came, he couldn't go to her room she was just beside her pa and Carol...He had no excuse to be on this side of the block. He couldn't believe she stood him up, he shouldn't care...they were casual after all.

He dressed quickly, he had the choice...either getting some food or go talk to the girl and right now, finding out why she bailed on him seemed more important than food.

As he walked to her cell, he was trying to calm himself, he didn't need to show her how angry he was, maybe she had a good excuse, maybe she couldn't sneak out... he actually hated to admit it but he kind of missed her.

He was approaching her cell when he heard her sing, he stopped a few second just to hear her sing and it seem to tame his anger. Merle was born angry, he was always feeling the deep coal of anger burning in his stomach, the only things that used to tame that beast within him was meth, alcohol and sex...sometimes all the three at once, but he also discovered recently that this angelic voice had the same effect on him, not that he would ever admit that.

He frowned once he realized what the lyrics of the song were but it was not a happy song that was sure...

"_And still I dream he'll come to me  
That we will live the years together  
But there are dreams that cannot be  
And there are storms we cannot weather_

_I had a dream my life would be_  
_So different from this hell I'm living_  
_So different now from what it seemed_  
_Now life has killed the dream I dreamed."_

Nothing for a baby but he guessed that no matter what she sang, with a voice like hers the little girl was probably in heaven.

He leaned against her cell door, and saw she was putting Judith in her crib.

"Hey Sugar, that was one hell of a song." He said putting his cheeky grin in place.

"Oh...Merle Hi." Her heart was thundering in her chest. She looked away pretending to put some order in her room. Seeing him leaning so casually made it harder on her, she just loved him so damn much. "Yes, it's just a song of my favorite musical. _Les Miserables_? You know."

He nodded. "Victor Hugo yes I do. I quite enjoyed this book."

She nodded, she was not even surprised he read the book...She had learned not to underestimate him, he had much more culture than they all thought.

He sighed, he could see she was not going to address her standing him up last night. "What happened last night Sugar? I missed you."

"Nothing, I just..."

"You what?" He asked taking a step in, there was a little voice in him that said he was not going to like what was brewing.

"I'm sorry, you were right." She said staying on the other side of the crib, like to set a barrier between them.

"You need to be more specific sweetheart, I'm always right." He said trying to make a joke.

She smiled a little, but it was a sad smile and it hurt a part in his chest he didn't even know he had. "About me, about us."

Merle looked around to make sure nobody was there.

"What d'ya mean?"

"I love you, I do but you're not what I need. I realized I want someone who wants to be with me for real, someone who needs me in his life ...someone who would go crazy when I am out of his world."

"I told you from the start." He started with a gruff voice, he was furious...was she actually breaking up with him? "What d'ya want me to say girly? What d'ya want to hear? Want me to tell ya that I can be yer fuckin prince charming"? He asked his voice as cold as ice

She smiled more sincerely now. "Oh no, I'm not blaming you, Merle I promise. You've been nothing but honest from the start, I'm the one who lied, to you...to myself and for that I'm sorry...It was not very Christian of me."

Merle scoffed. "Don't play the good Christian now, we did plenty of things that are not Christian you and I, and if I remember correctly you were begging for more."

Beth blushed beet red, and shook her head as to shake image of what they did away. "I am not playing the Christian. Just apologizing for lying to both of us. You are right, it doesn't work for me and-"

"Do I even have my say in this shit?"

"No, it was never a relationship, it was always unrequited. Don't worry you're not the bad guy."

"Merle let's go!"

"Shut the fuck up little brother! You said 30 fuckin minutes."

"Ya got a watch?" Snorted Daryl.

Merle growled throwing him a murdering look. He wanted to go, and yet part of him wanted to stay and make things better but as always his pride won. "Ya know what girly yer right, I don't need this shit...Ya was a great distraction, time to move on." He turned without another word to meet his brother.

As he walked out and sat in the truck he didn't like the feeling he had gnawing at him deep in his gut, it was something strange, not painful per say but it was making it hard to breathe.

He should have been relieved she called it quit now, that he didn't have to do it...He was not the bad guy, she was the one that walked away but it didn't make him feel better...not for a second.

He knew he was starting to get mixed filling about the little vixen, it was more than the attraction he had for her tight little body and her innocence and lack expertise that he liked, it had been her too...Beth the young woman.

He had tried to flirt with one of the stupid woman from Woodbury yesterday, she was not bright but she was hot enough with big tits and a tight ass but even if it was working, even if he knew he could have taken her right there in the garden he didn't even feel like it... He kept comparing her to Beth and she was nothing like her.

"Earth to Merle? Seriously bro what the fuck are ya on? Ya said ya stop with drugs."

"What?" Merle looked around; they were parked by a small shopping centre.

"Ya were spaced out during the whole fucking drive. I can't have ya out there with me if ya don't get yer head out of yer ass. I need ya to watch my back not to be a fuckin dead weight."

"I ain't taken no shit! Like I would risk ya like that, fuck little brother I had yer back more than once."

"So what's up? ya can talk to me ya know. "

"Oh I can? Oh thank ya little brother! Why don't we have a girl night tonight, I'll tell ya bout my problems, y'all tell me yers and we can paint our toenails and shit and who knows if yer lucky enough ya might grow a fuckin vagina so ya can stick a fuckin tampon in it."

Daryl mumbled something under his breath, and got out of the truck." I'll go to the baby store go wherever jest try to bring useful shit for everybody not jest for yer ass."

Daryl should have known better than antagonized an already uber pissed Merle, he flipped him the bird and walked in the first store he could find.

It was a small convenient store, the cigarettes were gone but Merle knew better than to stop at that. He did his fair share of break-in in this kind of stores before, he knew what to look for and where to find them. He went by the magazine stand and pulled it from against the wall...It was not easy to do with the lack of sleep and only one hand.

He laughed when he saw what was behind, 5 cartons of cigarettes, a bottle of cheap vodka, and four mini bottles of whisky. He looked around, making sure his brother was not there and slipped the vodka in his backpack... that was clearly not something he intended to share with anyone. He put the 4 mini bottles in his pockets and continued to look around taking a handful of things before putting them in the truck.

He took a small bottle and drank it at once, hoping it would help to numb the dull pain in his chest, he turned around to find a walker only millimetres from him, he quickly grabbed him by the throat and stabbed him through the eyes with his arm piece. Man Daryl had been right, he was sloppy, he almost got his face eat up and it was all because of this damn girl.

He growled, and walked in the second store not knowing what it was, he chuckled...it was a jewellery store and they still had a lot of shit here.

Maggie was a piece of work; maybe if he had some fine jewellery he could get the Chinaman to play his slave every now and then. He reached in his pocket and drunk a second bottle before starting to looked at the shit they had. He took a couple of necklaces, a couple of ring and he stopped by a pendant, it was a gold heart with angel wings attached to it, it would be the perfect present for Beth and then he wanted to punch himself for just thinking that.

He walked away angrily, the fucking bitch didn't deserve a second thought, she was not giving a second thought on walking away why should he?

He went to the pharmacy and took everything he could find behind the counter, there was not much left, he didn't know if the date were good or what all the medication was about but the ol'farmer would know. He found a few boxes of condom and put them in his backpack with the bottle of vodka, tonight he would make the Woodbury bitch scream his name over and over again and he hoped the little witch hears it and remember how good it was to be the one in his arms.

He drank the third bottle and his head spin a bit.

"Uh…." he looked down at the bottle. "It ain't 3 midget bottles that will take me down."

"Merle we're good?" Asked Daryl, coming in the drugstore.

"Yep, got some cigs too."

Daryl frowned. "Yer drunk?"

Merle snorted, and drank the forth bottle. "Ya think a tiny shit like that will take me down?"

"Nah, but ya didn't get any food bro, at least eat that." He said extending an energy bar.

Merle shook his head. "We done here?"

"Yea"

"Let's go."

The truck was quite full; it had been a good trip not that Merle did much.

"Stop!" Said Merle when Daryl started to revert

"Why? What?" He looked around startled.

"Damn fuckin hell!" He growled getting out of the truck, he was a bit drunker than he thought, and lost his footing falling heavily on the floor. He looked up and started to laugh, it was not a happy laugh it was one full of despair.

"What the fuck is wrong with ya?" Asked Daryl, running to his side to pull him up.

Merle was laughing ever harder; Daryl looked around and saw a walker turn his head toward him.

"Shut up Merle, shut it! Yer fucking drunk and I can't deal with yer drunk ass and fuckin walkers at the same time." He grabbed is hand and pulled him up, "Come on ya drunk fuck."

"I need to go there first," said Merle pointing at the jewellery store; "I have something to take for her. I need to make it right."

Daryl sighed and helped his brother to the store where he snatched the heart pendant and put it in his pocket.

Daryl stayed quiet until they were halfway back to the prison. "Who did ya take that for?"

"Ya know I didn't see it comin, and then she jest tell me we're done. I don't wanna it to be over. I should but I don't"

Daryl frowned, "is it the woman from Woodbury….Karen?"

Merle shook his head "Come on little bother that bitch wouldn't even be a fuckin blink on my radar, she's just a hole to fill. Nah … She is a little vixen ya know, her big blue eyes, her blond hair, her angel voice…fuck I was an idiot, I didn't stand a chance."

"Beth!" Daryl swayed a little on the road. "Ya have a thing for the girl? Fuck Merle no! Please, please tell me ya didn't do anythin stupid."

"Wanna know if we did it?"

"Yes! No! Fuck Merle why did ya have to go after the kid? She is like 20 years younger than ya, ya could be her dad…. Oh god Hershel, he's gonna kill ya."

"I'm 27 years older and don't worry, she didn't want me anymore…tired of ol'Merle dick."

Daryl made a gagging sound. "I don't wanna know nothin brother but jest be happy that she found her fuckin brain and called it quit before people found out. I like the group, I like the prison….I don't wanna leave brother, but seriously of all the women around ya had to choose Beth?" Daryl shook his head.

"I know if I give her that she'll forget what she said and…"

"No, no bro! Now ya listen to me, ya leave her alone. Ya know she deserved something different than ya. Beth…her family ain't like us, she wanna husband and kids and all the shit. She wants romance…ya can't give her that, yer better without her. Jest…I have some whiskey in my room, just have a few more drinks…It'll help ya forget her."

"But-"

"No, for me bro, just walk away, respect her choice and keep yer fuckin dick in yer fuckin pants do ya hear me? Cuz if ya do anythin I won't stand between them and ya."

"Yea I kind of figure that," Merle replied showing his prostetic…."Ya forgave lots."

Daryl parked, and stormed into the prison.

"What happened?" Asked Rick, coming toward the truck.

"Ah officer friendly. Dontcha worry I didn't hurt yer little boyfriend, he just got his panties up in a bunch."

"Are you drunk?"

"Nope, just buzzed but I will be drunk before the night is done."

"I don't want trouble, if you get drunk I don't want you in the common room tonight, are we clear?"

"Sure we are officer friendly, dontcha worry." He reached at the back and pulled his backpack along with a box of granola bars. "I'll be on my way."

Merle looked at the side and saw Hershel, Beth and Karen's boy sitting at a table together. The kid was laughing a something Hershel said and he was sitting close to Beth…Way too close.

Merle wanted to go there and break that kid face, he had a crush on his angel he knew that…but he was such a queer, he wouldn't be able to keep her satisfied, to keep her safe. He was the one that should be at the table not him.

Merle went back to his cell, he ate two bars and started to drink his cheap vodka, it tasted like rubbing alcohol but right now he didn't care, he just wanted to forget everything, how she was, how she made him feel, what she made him feel.

But it didn't have the effect he wanted, the more he drank the more he realized that he had fought and lost, the little witch put a spell on him and he was hers.

After one too many he realized he needed her, he never needed anyone but he needed her. He couldn't let the little queer getting too close to her. Hell, thinking of anybody else putting their lips on her body gave him craving of murders.

She wanted him to fight, he was gonna fight even if he had to fight her along the way. The sun had set; it was probably around dinner time.

"Beth! Bethany! Bethy!" He shouted her name all over the prison, making his way to the common room.

When he walked in, the room was already silent. They were all looking at him going from angry to terrified and Beth, his Bethy looked mortified.

"Merle I told you…." Started Rick taking a step toward him.

"Shut the fuck up officer friendly I ain't here to create trouble k? I jest have to talk to my angel." He turned to Beth. He knew he was as drunk as a skunk, he knew his words slurred but he knew she would listen; he could turn it all around. "Oh my Bethy, what did ya do to me? Yer stuck here" he said tapping his forehead, "yer stuck here," he tapped his chest. "Fuck woman what did ya do to me uh? Yer vixen lips poisoned me with every kiss ya gave me."

"Merle, son I think you better go now." Said Hershel, standing in front of Beth.

"No daddy it's okay…" She rested her hand on her father arm, and took a couple of step to stand in front of Merle.

"See, she wanna talk to me ol' man." Merle reached in his pocket and got the necklace out. "I hear ya woman, ya wanna a man that fight for ya…See I am. It was never bout sex….Well" he gave her his wolfish grin. "I love the sex with ya, but somewhere in between ya sneak into my heart, shit woman look what a pansy you made me." He extended the necklace to her.

"Sex? He is delusional. I'm gonna break your face you old sick pervert" Maggie shouted, but Glenn restrained her.

Beth took the necklace and put it on, the eyes full of tears. "Merle…you don't have to."

"Ya wanna a man for whom yer the world, yer my world baby…I wanna fight for ya, want me to? Yer under my skin Angel. Wanna get married? Okay fine. Say we're okay, say yer forgive me and come with me, just lay with me."

"Beth no, this is not right! Tell him he is crazy." Maggie shouted.

Beth turned toward her sister. "I love him Maggie, okay? I have never been happier, he is not perfect but he is mine."

"And she is mine got it? If any of ya try to even lay a finger on her I'll cut yer dick and shove it down yer throat and it includes ya queer boy." He added pointing to Noah. "Let's go Angel" he took Beth hand. "Come lay with me."

Beth turned to her father with pleading eyes. "Please daddy you have to understand, I love him."

"You are insane! All of you" Maggie shouted.

Hershel shook his head. "Just go with him, it's way too late and he is way too drunk but tomorrow…Tomorrow we'll have a discussion."

"Daddy…."

"Just go now Beth I just…" He sighed. "I just can't deal with you right now."

"Can I call you daddy too?" Asked Merle, wrapping his arm around her neck.

Beth nudged him and tried to pull him out. "Come on Dixon, if you want me to sleep with you it's now or never." He nodded and followed her out. She could feel all their eyes on her back. "You know tomorrow we'll have hell to pay right?"

He shrugged. "Come what may. I don't care anymore, ya wanted me all the way, ya got me now sugar and believe me I am one piece of work."

Beth chuckled "I know that but I want all of you."

Merle laid heavily on the bed, and pat the mattress. "Come on sugar, yer man is waiting."

Beth grinned and laid beside him, he spooned her and circled her waist with she stump, pulling her closer.

"My Beth," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. "You sweetheart, are my one and only." He added and was snoring within a minute

Beth closed her eyes, and rested her hand on his arm. She knew tomorrow was going to be a nightmare but right now she was lying in a bed with the man she loved, a broken man that loved her too and for now it was enough.

**The End**


	3. Chapter 3 - Think Twice

**A.N:** Hey guys!

Here a new METH drabble! It was inspired by 2 songs: Think Twice by Eve 6 and My Confession by Josh Groban, I sure hope you like it!

Also if you want to follow me on twitter I'm _**steph2106**_.

Oh and I am writing a full Daryl/Beth story based on season 4 trailer but I am in need of a beta….is any of you interested? If yes please PM me.

Again I hope you enjoy!

Read and Review.

Steffy2106

**Think Twice: **

Beth couldn't help but sulk as she was giving the bottle to Judith. She loved the little girl like she was her child, but taking care of the baby gave her so much time to overthink everything.

Her relationship with Merle was more or less public knowledge now...Well they came clean to Maggie and Hershel, who almost died of a heart attack, and they were both lucky that Merle had amazing reflexes because Maggie had tried to stab him.

Once the initial shock had passed they were more or less fine with it. Well no, fine was a too big word, they were resigned...Maggie was sure Merle was going to screw up and break her baby sister's heart. She said she would be waiting there to mend her broken heart when it would happened.

As for Hershel, part of him thought that Beth was only mistaking a crush for real love and once the heat of passion was gone she would realize the truth and call it quit with Merle.

The thing was she loved him, she knew she did, he was making mistakes on a daily basis, but it didn't matter. It didn't make her love him any less. She seemed to love everything about him, the good and the bad.

Merle had been the one that had been adamant to keep it a secret, but she had figured it was because of their age difference and due to the fact that most of the group saw him as a threat .They didn't really choose to come clean to Maggie and Hershel, they had been careless one day and had been caught kissing by Glenn, the only person who couldn't keep anything from Maggie, just a look from her and he would have vomited everything back to her.

Merle and Beth had decided to be proactive about it and went to Hershel. If Beth was completely honest she would admit that she had been happy they came clean, she thought it would change their relationship, that they would be more of a couple...but nothing had changed, Merle continued to barely acknowledge her in public, never giving a tender gesture or nice word for her.

He had never said he loved her, well not in so many words, but she knew he did...at least she thought so, it was Merle Dixon after all. She knew she would be at loss if she expected big sentiments with him, but she couldn't help but expect at least something, a little something that would let her know for sure that she was his first choice, not just a convenience of the moment. She wanted to be someone he was proud of, even Daryl who was almost as damaged as Merle, showed his love to Carol in public. Of course it was not as lovey-dovey as Glenn, but it was a brush of the hand when they were sitting side by side, a kind of unguarded smile he had only for her...Some little things that showed he loved her, and cared for her.

Beth sighed. She knew that if she ever mentioned it to Merle he would get mad, he would tell her she knew who she was getting with and that him not touching or looking at other women should be enough. That it was something private and that she never complained when he was making her scream his name at night and he was right, at night when he was touching her she had no doubt he loved her, but when the day came and they were out he was just Merle Dixon. She hated herself, but she couldn't help and wonder if Maggie hadn't been right, maybe he only loved her for her body and naivety not for the woman she was trying to become. Beth sighed again

"Why so sad?" Asked Rick walking in the cell.

"What?" She was startled. "Oh no, I'm not sad."

"Two sighs in less than a minute," He cocked an eyebrow with a little smile. "I'll say it's a State of Emergency."

She chuckled. "It's just stupid Rick really, nothing you should worry about."

He came and took Judith from her arms. "I'm sorry, but I think that everything that makes you sigh twice does deserve my undivided attention." He sat on the armchair and jerked his head toward the chair beside the crib. "You are taking care of my baby as well as a mother would Beth, you matter a lot to me, and you're family." If he was honest Beth was the person he loved the most after his children; she was a bit like the little sister he never had. She was always listening to him when he was weak and felt broken and she never lost her unwavering trust in him. "You always listen to me when I need to get things out of my chest."

"That's what friends are here for," she replied sitting on the chair.

"Then let me reciprocate. What is troubling you?"

"It's really stupid." She shook her head. "And I'm pretty sure you don't want to hear it."

Rick rolled his eyes. "It's about Captain Hook isn't it?"

"Captain h—"she realized he was talking about Merle and giggled. "HE would kill you if he heard you call him that. You know that right?"

Rick gave her a toothy grin. "Well what big bad Merle doesn't know can't hurt him...or me, can it?"

"Daddy told you?" She said looking down. She realized Rick's opinion mattered a lot to her, after all she didn't want him to be disappointed in her.

"He did, he had to. You know I'm in charge of the group after all...I'm surprised you didn't." He said gently but she didn't miss the underlying disappointment in his voice.

"I'm sorry I just—I didn't want..."

"You didn't want what?"

"To disappoint you."

"Oh Beth no, I'm not disappointed. Surprised yes! But it's your life, and I know how strong you are, I see how you take care of my little girl every day, I see how you put your heart in everything you do. You are probably seeing something in that man none of us can see; something hidden really, really deep down."

"He is a good man you know, there is the face he shows me and the face he shows the world."

"So why are you upset?"

"I wonder sometimes if he cares about me as much as I care about him."

"You know I don't want to defend the man, but I'm sure he does. He would have to be pretty stupid not to see how lucky he is to have you."

"Yeah see that's the thing I just... I just wished he showed it to the world every once and a while you know? Just acknowledge that I'm his that he cares for me, that I matter..." She groaned hearing herself say that out loud made her feel even stupider. "But the thing is, I have no right to whine or complain about that, I knew what I was getting into...Merle Dixon will never tell me he loves me, he will never bring me flowers I just...Idiot."

"You're not idiot, you can't help how you feel...nobody can, but I think I can help you with something."

"You can?"

Rick chuckled. "I will tell you a secret Beth, a secret that has been kept since the dawn of time."

"Okay..."

"Men are idiots."

Beth couldn't help but laugh at that, she was laughing so hard tears were coming out of her eyes. "Oh god I didn't see that one coming. Thank you. I didn't think I could laugh so much."

"No I'm serious, we all think we're unique, special, that nobody understands us..." he snorted. "We are all just the same; we are four types and four types only. You have the sensitive dreamer kind, which is Glenn, you have the protective brooding type, which is Daryl, you have the masochist with the hero complex, which is...well me, and you have the egotistical alpha male, which is Merle Dixon."

Beth pondered that for a minute. Egotistical alpha seemed pretty right to her. "Okay?"

"He knows he has you, he knows you love him and he knows everybody is scared shitless to even try to cross his path. Someone like him doesn't want to care or love or need anyone. Loving someone is a weakness, a liability he doesn't want or need."

Beth paled, was it true? Merle would never love her.

Rick saw her pale. "No, no it's too late for him, believe me he would have never gone to see Hershel if he didn't care for you. But loving someone and admitting you do are two different things. He doesn't want to need you, because he worked so hard his whole life not to need anyone, and he is just egotistical enough to think you love him enough to never break up with him no matter how much he screws up."

"And he might just be right about that," admitted Beth guiltily.

Rick grinned, "yeah well it doesn't matter, the thing is to make him doubt."

"And how do I do that?" Beth was clueless, she had never been in a relationship before, not really and having to deal with a man as complicated as Merle was a challenge.

"I'll help you with that, but don't tell anyone, Maggie was kind of happy the relationship was strained."

"Yeah like everybody else...Why are you willing to help me?"

He shrugged. "Well I can see you love him and you have always been so good to me and Judith. I want you to be happy and for some obscure reason he seems to do the trick."

"Thank you."

"Yeah, I will probably end up being punched but its ok I can deal with that. Do you trust me?"

"I do, of course I do."

Rick nodded. "Okay...so here is what we're going to do..."

**TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD**

Beth was all giddy come dinner time, she was wondering if Rick's plan would really work, for all she knew it could backfire, Merle could decide he didn't really care and call it quits. Beth had voiced her doubts to Rick but he told her to trust him and she owed him that much, plus she was miserable already.

Usually when she went in the commons for dinner she tried to sit at the table with Merle, but tonight she didn't and went to sit beside Rick who was feeding Judith.

When she sat down Rick kissed her forehead before giving her Judith. He leaned in and started to whisper in her ear. "Don't look at him, whatever you do just look at me. Now you are going to laugh and blush, I don't care what you have to think about but blush okay?"

Beth laughed, and blushed bright red replaying in her head the last time her and Merle had sex. He was removing all her inhibitions when they were together and she was doing things with him she never thought she would have done.

Rick actually laughed. "Wow that's the reddest I have ever seen you; not sure if I want to know what you are thinking about."

"Probably not."

He looked up quickly in Merle's direction and chuckled. "Now I'm going to talk to everybody and when the moment is right you will have to side with me okay?"

Beth was confused but nodded anyways.

"Perfect." Rick stood. "Excuse me everybody I would like to have a moment of attention if you don't mind."

The chatters died, and everybody turned their attention to Rick.

"Winter is coming and I believe we should fill the prison as much as we can to make sure we don't have to take a risk and hold a seating if necessary." People nodded in agreement. "I was thinking that for the next week we can send people by teams of 2, two teams at the time to do runs."

"I think it's a good idea," said Maggie.

"Is anybody against that?" When everybody remained silent Rick continued. "Okay then, so here are the teams: Merle and Daryl, Sasha and Tyreese, Michonne and Carl, Maggie and Glenn and finally Beth and I."

"Beth? Why Beth?" Asked Hershel. "Not that I want to undermine your authority but I am not sure it's the right time to take Beth out."

"I've got to agree with the ol'man the girl is better here taking of the baby and shit. D'ya even ask her?"

Beth reddened in anger, which showed what opinion Merle had of her...'taking care of the baby and shit'

"And did you ask her?" Rick turned to Hershel. "No offense but Beth and I talked about it and she wants to be more proactive and I think this run might be a good idea, plus you know I'll keep her safe."

Hershel turned to Beth. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes I do, plus I'll know what to get for Judith and everything that we might need for her."

Hershel nodded.

"Ya I think the teams ain't gonna work," said Merle. "I think we need to change round."

"What do you have in mind?" Asked Rick.

"Ain't smart to put yer two best hunters together ya should split Daryl and I."

"You have a point. What's on your mind? "

"Dunno," Merle shrugged. "Take my brother I'll take the girl to the baby store."

Rick threw a quick "_I told you so_" look to Beth. The players may change but the game remained the same.

"No I don't think so," said Rick.

"Why the fuck not? Maybe we should let her decide so what' d'ya think sweetheart?" He shot her his thousand dollar smile. He knew her inside out she would chose him, there was no other way…he was under her skin like she was under his.

Beth looked from Merle to Rick and jerked her head toward Rick with a smile. "I think I better go with Rick, Judith is his daughter after all."

Merle eyes narrowed ever so slightly, his smile faltered, and you could see his jaw muscles tightened.

"Okay perfect so tomorrow Glenn and Maggie will go and Beth and I too." Said Rick coming back to sit beside Beth.

He kissed Judith's forehead and rested his hands on Beth shoulders. "Stay in your cell tonight, he is going to come to you…he will be nonchalant, pretend he doesn't care, invent the silliest excuse on why you want to sleep alone."

"But I suck at lying, he will know there is something and when he finds out we played him he will be so mad he is going to dump me." She said with big eyes, she was really starting to regret listening to Rick.

"We want him to know you're lying and please be a bit more confident he won't let you go…He might not know it yet, but trust me. Plus worst case scenario I swear I'll fix it." He kissed her forehead. "I'll see you in the morning."

Rick looked at Beth leaving with Judith tight in her arms, her shoulders were a little slumped, and he knew she was scared, but she was such an amazing young woman. In the world before, a man like Merle couldn't even dream to get a woman like her.

He saw Merle glare at him and it took everything he had to stop himself from smiling. It was the most fun he had in a while, teaching a lesson to Merle Dixon while getting Beth what she deserved.

"Hey officer friendly!" Said Merle when the commons cleared out, "Got a minute?"

Rick nodded. "I'm on my way to the tower."

"I'll walk with ya. The ol'farmer talked to ya?"

"About what? Hershel and I talk about a lot of things."

Merle growled, he was not going to make it easy for him…fucking bastard, but he had to make him understand. He had tried to grin and bear it when she chose officer friendly over him for the run. "Bout me and the girl."

"Beth? Why can't you say her name?"

Merle rested his hand on Rick's shoulder to stop him and tightened his hold until he knew it was painful, but the cop kept his face smooth. "I know her name jest fine ya feel me? There is nothin' I don't know bout her if ya see what I mean."

"Ah…yes… your relationship?"

Merle nodded sharply.

"Yes I know, I do think she lost her mind for choosing you but-" Rick shrugged. "I am not the one to judge."

"Ya think ya'll be better for her. Ya don't know what she needs, she needs me, she's good with me."

"What are you implying?"

"Don't fuck with her, with me. She is too nice, but I ain't an idiot I see ya around her tryin to take my place." Merle's hand tightened into a fist, "I only have one hand, but ya touch my girl and I'll make ya feel the burn."

"I wouldn't dream of it and if she is so good with you why should you worry anyways? You are what she needs right?" Rick left with a grin on his face.

Merle was furious, what was his fucking plan? Beth was his and he would fight anyone trying to take her away from him. He barely stopped himself from beating the shit out of officer friendly right now, but he knew that if he did that they would kick him out. Beth would never follow him if he was to blame and thinking about leaving his girl here without him made him feel the pain almost physical.

Merle made it to his cell and frowned to find his bed empty. Usually Beth was waiting for him after putting the baby to bed. He usually was grumbling pretending he couldn't have a night to himself, but then he was making love to her, sometimes softly, sometimes roughly and he kept murmuring _'ya ain't sick of yer ol'Merle are ya? Ya can't get enough of him.'_ And he loved how she confirmed breathlessly how much she wanted him, how much she needed him and how much she loved him until they both came.

Merle didn't like the feeling that was settling in the pit of his stomach…. After the way officer friendly acted with her today, he didn't like that.

What if she ever realized she could do better, that she could—He snorted. Was not gonna happen! She wanted him, she chased him.

"What'ya doin sugar? Ol'Merle's been waitin for ya." He asked leaning against her cell door.

Beth turned in her bed and muffled a yawn. "I'm tired tonight Merle and I have to get up early and I'm kind of sore from the other night."

Merle grinned but he didn't miss the fact that it was the first time since they started having sex, that she refused him.

"It's okay we don't need to have sex, we can just sleep."

Beth looked at him. "Are you actually suggesting we cuddle?" She asked incredulous.

Merle shrugged. "Ya always complain I ain't caring enough. Isn't that what ya want?" But deep down he was surprised to have said that, was he turning in a damn pussy? Merle Dixon didn't cuddle with anyone.

Beth couldn't believe what she was hearing, she'd be damned, but Rick was right. "Thanks but no, I would rather stay here if Judith is feeling sick."

"The little girl seem fine to me," said Merle looking to a sleeping Judith.

"Yeah she is but she might be."

Merle had to fight his animal instincts, all he wanted to do was grab her, put her on his shoulder, throw her on his bed and kiss some sense into her. But what if she screamed, fought him…she had lungs on her; she would wake up the whole block. "Fine…." Merle walked away briskly. He should be happy to have his bunk to himself for once. She was always glued to his side, like she was an extension of him. He was getting his bed back so why was he so….so….dissatisfied?

Officer friendly was weak, he was not what she needed, he could never keep her satisfied. He knew her inside out, she might be a lil' angel in public but she was a devil in bed, she was full of passion and desire, you had to be a real man to handle her, officer friendly would get burned.

**TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD**

Rick was parked just at the edge of the trees, not too far from the prison, but far enough not to be seen from the tower.

"I actually enjoyed coming out for a run, thank you."

"You're welcome, plus now Judith is set for winter. If you want, you can go more often…not with me though."

Beth frowned, she didn't understand. He just told her she did well and yet he didn't want to go with her anymore?

Rick seemed to read her mind and chuckled. "Oh don't worry I would take you if I could but after today and after what will happen when get back to the prison, there is no way in Hell Merle will let you go on a run with someone other than him." Rick rubbed his jaw. "I hope he won't punch too hard."

"He won't punch you."

"Oh yes he will and its okay."

"How long are we going to wait here?"

"Just an hour or two, just making sure he is worried enough…we'll go back when the sun starts to set."

"How do you know him so well?"

"I don't know him, I know guys like him….Shane was a guy like him before Lori," he said with a pang of both anger and pain. He hated Shane for everything he did and yet he couldn't help but miss his best friend every once in a while.

"I'm sorry."

Rick shrugged. "There is nothing to be sorry about, our world went to hell and it brought the best and worst out of people."

As the sun started to set Rick drove to the prison, "okay now get out of the car laughing and lean against it like you are in no rush to get in."

Beth leaned her shoulder against the back door, Rick joined her and leaned against the car facing her, he stood so close she could feel his body heat radiating on hers.

Merle heard the car and rushed out of the prison as if he had seen a hoard of walkers. What took them so long? They were going to look for baby clothes, not a fucking rocket. When he saw officer friendly standing so close to his woman his blood rushed in his veins like lava, officer friendly was going to pay for this offence even if it was getting him kicked out.

Beth looked up to see Merle storming their way. "He is coming and he looks pissed."

Rick kept his back to Merle. "You'll owe me one." At the same moment Merle pulled Rick by the collar and punched him square in the jaw.

Rick expected the punch to be forceful, but this one was so strong it blinded him for a second, he could taste the blood in his mouth.

Merle was hovering over him huffing like a bull. "I told ya, I told ya to stay away from my girl. But ya didn't listen did ya? What made ya think I would let ya steal her away from me? What?!" He roared.

The others started to gather around them.

"Stop, Merle Stop!" Said Beth reaching for his arm.

"Stay out of that!" Merle barked getting out from her hold quite roughly, so roughly she stumbled back. "Why d'ya go like that with him uh? Ya think y'all be better with him than with me?"

"No Merle I-"

"Ya think he'll love ya the way I do? Think again sweetheart cuz he ain't!"

"You love me?"

"What?" Merle had been so mad at Rick, at her….he had been so furious at himself for almost losing her he didn't even realized what he said.

"You just said that he can't love me the way you do….You love me?"

"Ain't matter now, what we feel or not….What matters is how ya jest go and—"

Beth raised her hand to stop him. "No actually it's all that matters."

Merle looked at her incredulously. "That's what ya want? Love, flowers, rings and shit?" He nodded "Okay sweetheart, ya win." He raised his hands in surrender. "Ya wanna babies, let's go have one."

Hershel cleared his throat loudly.

"Ain't gonna do that right now ol'man," said Merle, still hovering over Rick but keeping his eyes on Beth. "Ya want me to marry ya? Okay lemme go steal some fucking rings. Ya know how I feel bout ya, fuck woman I almost died for ya a few times. Ain't what ya say? Actions speak louder than words."

"It's still good to hear every once in a while."

Merle looked around and sighed with exasperation. "I love ya woman, I have been wrong, thought I was strong without you, for so long nothing could move me….for so long nothing could change me. I surrender each time I see yer face, yer so beautiful can't believe yer with me. Happy now?"

Beth smiled brightly before throwing a grateful look at Rick. "Very happy, yes."

Merle grunted, extending his hand to her. "Come on lets go now, I'll tell ya more."

Beth took his hand eagerly and intertwined their fingers together.

"And I swear any of ya ever try to take her away from me yer dead, every single one of you." He pulled Beth's hand so she stood closer and wrapped a possessive arm around her waist. He kissed her forehead. "And ya, never leave me okay?" He whispered keeping his lips on her forehead.

She shook his head. "I promise I'm with you until the day I die."

"The only thing I hope is I dying before ya cuz I won't make it without ya woman, not today not ever." Merle admitted out loud as they walked back to his cell.

Rick looked at Merle and Beth going back in the prison from his spot on the floor. He laughed, wiping the blood from his mouth. Those two had needed a little help, but at the end they were going to last….As he said before the players might change but in the end the game would always be the same.

**The end**


	4. Chapter 4 - Trip

**A.N:** Hey guys!

This One-Shot is also my official entry for the METH One-Shot contest organized by **4theloveofCARYL** blog. I based this story both on the picture that was to be used for the contest but I also based it on the song **Trip by Hedley**, (the Acoustic Version.)

For the people who wonder when I will update In The Arms of the Angel. Please note I will update once a week so I will most likely update this Sunday. My wonderful beta KaptenKramp is busy and she is too awesome for me to push her lol. So please expect one update per week.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead…METH rules!

**Trip – Meth's version**:

Beth was looking for Merle frantically; her eyes burning with the tears she had shed. Why didn't she listen to him? He had warned her it would go like this but she hadn't listened. She had told him that it would be fine, that the other's would accept them being together, that he had proven his worth over and over again during the months he had been there.

He had set Michonne free and killed the governor and all that just to keep his brother and the prison safe! Her father had even said that Merle was an asset after all, and that he might not have been all that bad.

She went to his cell and called out, "Merle?" But he was not there. She sighed, sitting on his bunk as her heart started to hammer in her chest. Had he left like Hershel asked him to? Normally Beth would have said no. Merle would have never gone somewhere without her and Daryl, but the way he looked when he exited the room, how defeated he seemed she couldn't be sure. Merle looked angry, annoyed, but she had never seen him look defeated before. It was what scared her the most, the look of defeat shining in his blue eyes as he walked away.

She went to retrieve her first aid kit from her cell before she started her search for him. After all, his head wounds had been pretty bad and after looking almost everywhere she thought he could be she went towards the direction of block D. she knew it was a long shot but it was worth the try.

She let out a loud sigh of relief when she found him sitting against a wall. He was looking down, shoulders hunched, his legs were bent and he had his arms resting on his knees. His wife beater was stained with blood and his cargo pants were slightly ripped. He didn't even look up right away and she knew he had heard her come in; he was the best hunter she had ever met, except for Daryl. It broke her heart to see this big man like that, he looked so tired and used up and it was all because of her.

"Ya shouldn't be here sweetheart." He drawled not even looking up. "Yer pa' said ya needed to stay away from me."

"Of course I should be here, there is nowhere else in the world I should be." She told him her voice filled with assurance. It surprised her that he didn't know by now wherever he was, that was where she was meant to be.

Merle looked up at his angel; she looked so pale...paler than usual, her blonde hair was hanging down, the ends slightly curly and he could see the angry red marks on her arms where her sister had restrained her. The marks would fade in time he knew, but they would be engraved in his mind for as long as he would breathe. "How did ya managed to get away?" His voice gruff as he stared ahead trying not to let her being there affect him.

She shrugged walking over to him. "Doesn't matter." She said her voice soft and sweet as she stared at him. She didn't need to tell him that she fought like a lioness to get out of the common room and that it was actually Daryl taking her side that allowed her to even get away; he was probably dealing with hell right now. She crouched down beside Merle. "Thank you," she told him sincerely.

Merle snorted. "For what? Getting myself banned?" He shook his head, and let out a weary sigh. "I knew it would end up this way, look at ya and look at me, it could never- I am and always will be a monster to them. And maybe they're right, maybe that's what I am, an animal."

Beth brought her hand forward and cupped his cheek before gently rubbing the stubble on his cheek. "They only see what they want to see, it's easier to see an animal than looking underneath all the walls you put up. I saw something in you that told me you were different than what everyone else thought and you never disappointed me...not once." She told him her eyes pleading with his for him to believe her.

Merle closed his eyes, and leaned in her touch. It was crazy how a simple touch from her could bring him peace, ease the guilty and remorse that were eating him up inside every hour of every day. He wasn't sure what she had done to him, but he was so into her. There wasn't a thing he wouldn't do for her, to make her proud, to make her happy, and to keep her safe.

"I love you Merle Dixon," she whispered.

He opened his eyes sharply and looked intently at her. It was the first time she had ever told him that, well she had told him at night when she thought he was sleeping, but never like she just did. She seemed so sure, there was no doubt in her face only quiet determination. "Don't say that, it might kill me." He replied hoarsely trying to catch his beating heart at her declaration.

"What will?" Beth asked confused, her eyebrows furring as she stared at him.

"Hope...don't give me hope girl, there is nothing more lethal than hope," He responded. All his life he has been reminded that he was good for nothing, that he didn't deserve anything better than miserable, and after while he started believing it. There was no need to hope for anything because nothing good could ever happen to any Dixon. And it had been true, for over 40 years it had been true, until the day this little blonde angel entered his life and changed everything. He still wondered sometimes how one person could completely change your life.

"Your head is still bleeding," said Beth with concern as she looked over his wounds.

"Ain't nothin'," Merle replied dismissively shooing away her concern.

"Let me take care of it." She told him firmly before opening up the first aid kit.

He shook his head no. He didn't need her to fix him up, not when it was just a little cut. They needed to save the supplies in case something major happened.

She knew Merle would play tough, he would fight her. He hated when they spent the medical supplies on him, but she knew the man now. She needed to act like it was a favour to her if she fixed his head. "Please I will feel better if you let me do that, it's my fault after all."

Merle nodded his consent.

Beth stood and kneeled on his other side and started to work silently on the wound on his temple. It was the one that concerned her the most as it was still bleeding. Beth gently wiped the blood with gauze to have a better look at the depth; she was relieved to see he wouldn't need stitches. Merle brought his good hand up and gently brushed her cheekbone with his fingertips.

"It isn't your fault you know. This is only mine, I should've known better. I did know better I just – I just thought that if God could forgive me, maybe yer family could too."

"If God did?" She asked as she gently tendered to his wound confused as to why he had said that.

"Yea, people say love ain't for sinners, I believe it ain't true cuz when I finished sinning love came down and gave me you."

Beth stilled for a second, her heart beating erratically in her chest as she replayed his words in her head. _Was it his way of telling her he loved her too?_ She was too scared to say a word and break the spell his words had spun around them. He was opening up for the first time since they became close; he was really talking to her.

"I thought for a minute we could make it work because so help me God I'm so into ya Angel, yer in my blood. Ya make me want to be better." He admitted sheepishly.

Beth and Merle had never expected for this to happen. At first he had been attracted to her for her purity, her ingenuousness, something he had run out of a very long time ago. She was his complete opposite; where he was dark she was light, where he was bad she was so good. He loved being around her, as if some of her goodness would rub off on him. As the weeks had passed she seemed to notice something in him that nobody, not even himself, seemed to see. She knew all the terrible things he had done, the people he had killed, but she had faith in him. The kind of unwavering faith that made him want to be a better person. He would never admit it to anyone, let alone himself, but he lived for the moments when she looked at him with pride, when she was laughing just for him. Sometimes, when they were together, when he was kissing her or making love to her he forgot who he really was. He was not Merle Dixon the redneck, high school dropout, dishonorably discharged murderer. He was just Merle Dixon, a man falling for a woman who he would die for. She stood through his shadow, she saw something more, and she believed there was a light in him. She was so sure... And it made him stronger, he wanted, truly wanted to be the man she saw, but the hardest part was realizing every morning that he would never follow through. In the morning, he was himself again and it was hitting him like a ton of bricks when all he wanted to be was the perfect guy for her. He was waking up from a dream, and it didn't matter how many time he washed his hands he could never get them clean.

He knew that, her family knew that, but she refused to see it and this faith was slowly killing him because it had allowed him to hope, even if it was for the faintest moment that in the end everything would work out. He had told her he could never change who he always was and she told him she was okay with that, that she wanted the man he was, the man she knew he was. To him though he couldn't see how anyone would ever want that man.

She had kissed him first. He had been sitting beside her in the weapon room, showing her how to clean a gun when she just leaned in and kissed him. Merle stayed frozen on the spot like he couldn't believe what had just happened. She gave him a shy smile, her cheeks tinted with pink, and leaned in again for a second kiss. This time Merle grabbed her and kissed her passionately, he gently ran his tongue over her lips and he couldn't believe it when she granted him entrance. She started to moan softly and he thought maybe he was just hearing things at first; he couldn't be so lucky could he? He was a son of a bitch, he couldn't deserve someone like her, not now, not ever and yet she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

He knew they had to keep it a secret, he knew nobody would approve or understand. Hell he himself couldn't understand what was happening between them, he knew he should have called it quits, but he never could and one night she came to him blushing and shivering with nerves and anticipation. He had been pleasantly surprised to see her, but he was shocked after what had just come out of her mouth. She had asked him to make her his, she had told him she wanted him to be the first. He couldn't believe someone so pure and beautiful would want to be his. Rethinking about it right now, he would have been better off dead instead. Because it was that night, when he gently laid her naked body on his bed, that he realized he had fallen for her. It was that night, as he kissed every single part of her perfect soft body, that he realized he could never willingly let her go. It was that night, when as they laid together and she whispered she loved him, that he realized he was afraid. Afraid of losing her, but also afraid of her...Afraid of the power she had over him; she was his weakness and his strength. She had the power to break him and bring him back to life.

They continued in secrecy for a while, but he was no fool he could see the longing in her eyes when she was looking at Maggie and Glenn together. He knew she deserved that; she deserved to be embraced in the sun and not only loved in the dark.

He had mentioned to Beth he was ready to make their relationship public if she was too. She convinced him it would be okay, that when everyone saw how happy she was with him they would accept it. He wanted it to be true, he wanted it so much he almost started to believe they might forgive him, that they might think he was worthy of her somehow. The world was falling; the truth became untrue, people changed. Maybe he would get the approval he had been desperately yearning for.

"_You can face my father, you are not afraid of anything." She had said her voice full of conviction at his strength while they were laying together, their limbs intertwined. She was playing with his chest hair while resting her head in the crook of his neck. _

"_Used to be true, ain't anymore." He replied kissing the top of her head while tracing idle patterns with the thumb of his good hand in the small of her back._

"_What on earth can big bad Merle be afraid of?" She asked smiling, her tone in disbelief that Merle could be afraid of anything. _

"_Of you." He had replied honestly._

_She looked up at the sincerity in his voice and looked into his eyes. "Why would you be afraid of me?" She asked not understanding how he could be scared of her._

"_I'm afraid of how ya make me feel, what ya make me want. Ya dunno what I'd be ready to do for ya Angel if you knew." He shook his head. "And just the thought of losing ya, It scares the shit out of me." _

"_I'm not going anywhere." She kissed his lips tenderly. "I'm here to stay." _

He held her tighter against him and let her soft heartbeat soothe him to sleep. He loved holding her in his dark times, when things didn't go his way, when his guilt resurfaced... When he held her that close he remembered he couldn't be so bad, there was no way an angel could love someone that was completely bad.

Earlier today he went to the old farmer while they were having dinner. He told Hershel that he and Beth were together and that she deserved better than to be a secret, that he cared for her, and he would do anything to make her happy. Beth smiled up at him. When he met her eyes full of love, hope and pride he had felt like he could conquer the world, taking the walkers on one after the other.

But then his eyes settled on Hershel and his silly hopes just vanished, it was like someone had just popped the balloon of a very small child. There was so much hatred and disgust in the man's face. Glenn jumped from his seat and punched Merle who didn't even try to defend himself. Part of him thought he deserved that stupid beating for just thinking he deserved her.

Merle could hear Beth scream at the top of her lungs as she was fighting her sister and Carl who were restraining her.

He wanted to tell her that it was okay, that he deserved it, but his mouth was filled with blood. Finally Daryl intervened and pulled Glenn off of Merle.

"_Fuck, he ain't fighting back!" Daryl said pushing Glenn roughly away from Merle. _

Rick stood close to Glenn, probably to restrain him in case he tried to hit Merle again.

_Merle sat down breathless, wiping the blood with the arm of his shirt. _

"_Why did you do that?" Beth sobbed. "He didn't do anything. How can you people be so cruel?" She asked._

"_T'alrigh' Angel, I deserve it." _

"_You don't talk to her, you sick bastard." Maggie had spat still restraining Beth who was wiggling violently in her hold. _

"_Cruel? Us?" Glenn asked crossing his arms on his chest. "You better reassess your visions on things Beth. He is the man that kidnapped us, that beat me and left me to die with a walker. He is the man that left your sister with a violent perverted sociopath!"_

"_A sociopath he killed to save y'all!" She shouted back needing to defend him. "I love that man! He didn't take advantage of him, if all I took advantage of him." She screamed as she tried to twist out of her sister's grasp. _

Glenn snorted as Daryl stayed close to his brother watching all of them with hawk eyes.

Hershel stood up and walked over to Merle. Merle winced but stood, holding his good hand at his rib cage. His head was throbbing and he was sure he had a couple of bruised ribs, but it was nothing compared to the pain he was going to feel when the old man would open his mouth. Physical wounds would heal, they always did and Merle had more than his share of them, but the wound of loss hope was going to hurt like hell until his last breath and he knew that.

"My girl is lost, she doesn't know what she's saying, but I know you, I know men like you and I would rather see her dead than with you." Hershel's voice was eerily calm and leveled making him much more threatening as he stared in Merle's eyes.

Beth kept shouting stuff, but Merle didn't listen all his attention was on Hershel. "I want you out, out of my sight, out of her life, and out of this prison. If you ever even look at her again I swear..." Hershel took a deep breath trying to control the beast inside him. "Let's just say I am not a saint. How could you even think you deserved someone like my Bethy? How?!" Hershel turned to Rick. "I know it's your call, but I want him out. I just...I want him out!"

Hershel left the common room without another word.

"I think you better leave now, but don't go too far." Said Rick and as crazy as it seemed he appeared sorry for Merle.

Merle took a deep breath and nodded. "Just-" he looked at Beth who was sobbing into her sister's iron like hold; she was not even fighting her anymore. She just looked defeated, probably just as defeated as he felt. Merle knew that, as soon as he would walk out of this room she would be out of his life. He knew Rick and Daryl would reason the old farmer and they would let him stay in the prison, but he knew he would never be with his angel anymore. Knowing she was out of his life cut him like a knife. Merle never had anything precious in his life, nothing worthy, so when he got Beth he held on with dear life. He knew from day one she was the best thing that had ever happened to him even if it had took him a little while to realize that, and now it felt like water slipping through his fingers. He had never been so helpless; nothing he could say or do was right anymore and nothing could change the course of events. She had been his for a while, but now it was out of his hands. She was gone.

Merle left trying his best to hide the one silent tear that was running down his face he couldn't hold in. He thought it was the last time he would ever see his angel. He couldn't even remember the last time he cried, probably when his mom had died. She might have been a stupid drunk, but she was the only person who ever told him she loved him...well before Beth that is.

He had been so sure he would never see her again, that he thought she had been a vision when she came to block D, but her blood shot eyes, red arms and feeling her touch showed him just how real she was.

"How did ya escape the angry mob?" Merle asked after she was done taking care of his injuries.

She sat against his body, resting her head against his shoulder while he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

She closed her eyed and enjoyed his body heat snuggling in a little closer. "I didn't escape, they didn't have much choice, they had to let me go eventually. I told them you know."

"Told them what Angel?" He leaned his head to the side resting his cheek on top of her head.

"I told them that they could lock me up, but that as soon as I could get out, I would go to you. Wherever you were even if I had to die in the process I would find you, and if they kicked you out, fine by me, but I'd leave with you."

"I would never let you risk your life for me. Outside means death."

"Yeah and inside without you means death for me too." She told him moving her head slowly. "I was scared, but I'm not scared anymore. I was scared of what I would do if I ever had to choose between you and them, but it was easy. It's you, always you, no matter what. I know you are not ready to admit it, but nobody can keep me safe as well as you. Nobody can make me happy the way you do and you know why?" She asked her hand grasping his shirt in her hand and bunching the wife beater over his heart.

"Why is that angel?" He asked humouring her. He expected them to find them together any second, and rip her away from him again. He was going to enjoy her as long as he could.

"Because you love me just as much as I love you. You are not ready to say it yet and it's okay, actions do speak louder than words, I can see it in your eyes." She sighed with content. "I love you Merle."

"Say it again." He whispered needing to hear her beautiful voice say it again.

"I love you." She told him smiling.

His heart stopped beating every time she said she loved him; he could hardly breathe when she said it. "Again." He requested staring down at her face.

"I love you." She told him her eyes sparkling with happiness.

"When ya say ya love me, for a second I believe we can make it, I believe we're the only ones in the world. When yer with me and I close my eyes, I feel so good, fuck I believe I can fly! When ya say ya love me—Tell me Beth, look at me..."

Beth moved and met his troubled blue eyes. "When you say you love me, that's all you have to say to make me feel we can conquer the world. Do you even know how much I love you?"

"Tell me," she whispered against his ear.

He pulled her to him so she was straddling him. "I tried to tell you goodbye, so many times, but I can't. I love ya enough to fight them all if ya wanna me too. I love ya enough to believe we can make it, I love ya enough to say ya bat-shit crazy to choose me, I'm an emotional wreck and ya could do so much better. But I know I will not be able to survive without ya, not anymore, not after I found out how good it was to be loved by ya. Ya broke me ya know. I was jest so good on my own, but then ya got in and I broke my vows of never needing anyone. I could never be there while you lay at night with someone else while I would remember when ya were my own. Promise to be mine and we'll make it work angel. God is on my side for once...Ya taught me so much Beth. I close my eyes and think about ya and I, and ya made me realize there is much more to love than just bitterness and lies. Ya brought me peace and trust and everything, yer the light in the darkness this world is in.

Beth wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her forehead on his. "You might be a mess, but you're my mess. They can't understand us?" She shrugged. "Then too bad for them. What if I told you that you were meant for me, would you believe me?" She asked searching his eyes for a response before the words could come out of his mouth.

Merle brought his good hand to her neck while wrapping his stub about her waist. He gently pushed her face to his so he could kiss her. She grinned against him, feeling his growing desire. "I love ya sweetheart. I don't know how it happened, but it did and I don't regret it, I jest can't believe it happened to ol'Merle."

"Make love to me Merle, let's forget about the world for a while, let's just be you and I and let the world burn."

Merle stood keeping his arm around her and directed her to the cell he had cleaned up. He knew they would, at the very least, make him change blocks to be as far as possible from his blonde Angel. He was now happy to have taken a few minutes to clean the cell. They kissed softly as they removed each other's clothing slowly, for once they would take their time, they would explore each other and they would spend the full night together. Beth would wake up in his arms and just for that he realized the beating had been worth it.

He made love to her that night, whispering to her all the things he had kept deep inside. Tomorrow just seemed an eternity away as she whispered over and over again how much she loved him.

He had been blind not to see before the true love she was giving to him. He told her how he was staggered by her beauty, her unassuming grace; how his heart was falling into place every time she smiled. He had been wrong to think he was strong without her, for so long nothing could change or move him, until her. But tonight, in her arms he believed it was all possible that they would change it all around and that for once love would win at the end. She was the air that he breathed, the ground beneath his feet, he was not sure exactly when he started believe they belonged together, but he would not give up. If she was ready to fight along with him there was nothing they would not conquer and that included her angry father and She-demon of a sister.

Tomorrow would bring more drama, heartache and death, but tonight in block D of this prison; their love was conquering it all.

~~~~~~~~THE END~~~~~~~~


	5. Chapter 5 - Marry me

**A.N:** Hey guys!

First, yay I won the METH contest in the 'sweetest' category, I am so grateful, I love METH so much! SO here for you my sweet readers I want to thank you all . I made this chapter the sweetest of all and I made it _**EXTRA**_-long. I sure hope you will like it.

Disclaimer I still don't own the walking dead but if Micheal Rooker or Norman Reedus are interested I'm single and ready to mingle. :P

Steffy2106

**Chapter 5:**

Merle was sullen. He had thought he was happy in his relationship with Beth, that she was content with him, but he had heard her talking with Carol and Maggie about romance and relationship.

Maggie told her about all the romantic things Glenn did for her and even Carol piped in telling her all the things Daryl did for her. When they asked Beth what Merle had done to show how much he loved her she honestly had nothing to tell them.

Maggie said, "Well you did chose Merle Dixon what did you expect? I'm sure a dead raccoon is the most romantic thing he would do." She chuckled.

Merle growled and walked away briskly. He hated being mocked, but what he hated most was how disappointed Beth had sounded when she asked Maggie and Carol more questions about their relationships. He knew he wasn't perfect, this relationship satisfied all his needs and it should have been enough for Beth too. He always took and didn't care if women were satisfied, but it was Beth and everything was different because he loved her. Now being satisfied wasn't enough anymore he wanted her to be satisfied too. Part of him was worried that if she was unhappy she would leave him and who could blame her? She could do so much better.

Merle went outside and lit a cigarette, he looked around thinking about what he could do to make sure Beth was happy. In order to be a romantic like she deserved he needed the help of a pussy man.

Merle looked around and grinned. Glenn for Merle the pussiest of all, almost a woman. "Hey ching chonger!" Merle shouted when he saw Glenn touring the east perimeter.

Glenn turned and mumbled something before starting to walk again.

Merle jogged to him. "Ah come on Chink, I need yer help."

Glenn let out a humorless laugh. "You insult me and then you expect my help? Do you stop at anything?"

"Don't be like that! Ya know I like ya fur a yellow and it ain't for me, it's for Beth."

Glenn stopped walking, and turned to Merle. "What do you mean?" he asked not quite sure what Merle wanted his help for Beth for, but since it was for Beth he would stop and listen.

Merle shrugged, taking a drag on his cigarette. "Girl ain't happy, I don't do shit like ya pussies…even that stupid brother of mine do romantic crap for his woman."

"I still don't see-"

"I need ya to help me do somethin' nice for my girl."

"How am I supposed to help you?" Glenn asked not quite sure what Merle wanted.

"I don't know for fucks sakes. Dontcha think I am desperate enough if I come ask ya?" Merle responded hating that he had to come to Glenn for advice.

"You're really worked up about that, aren't you?" Glenn said crossing his arms and looking at Merle.

"What d'ya think?" Merle asked. He was not going to tell him more than he needed to. He never was the kind to open up. It was already so hard for him to open up with Beth let alone with some pussy like Glenn. He wasn't going to start talking about his feelings that was only something women did.

Glenn sighed, helping Merle was probably the last thing he wanted to do, but he knew that if he helped him make Beth happy it would in turn make Maggie happy. "To be honest I don't know what to tell you. Just do something personal. Maggie likes chocolate you know, so every time I manage to find some I put it under her pillow. It shows you like her, you know her. What does Beth like?"

"She likes I have a PhD."

"You have a PhD?" Glenn snorted raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, a Pretty huge dick and she likes it. What am I supposed to do? Wrap a bow round it and tell it's her favorite lollipop?"

"You're messed up man. I don't even know why I bother." Glenn shook his head in disgust. "You're a lost cause, she would be better dumping your ass."

"Just tell me."

"That's the thing I can't tell you! What will work for Maggie or Carol or whoever won't work for Beth. You say you love her yeah?"

Merle gave him a sharp nod.

"Well find what she wants and give it to her. Sorry it's all I've got." Glenn told him before finishing walking around the perimeter.

"Fuckin helpful, thanks for nothin." Merle turned briskly but if he was honest Glenn had been right. He needed to go big though; he had fucked up so many times already and would most likely fuck up for the rest of their lives.

He was thinking of all the things she had told him. He knew she wanted to settle down, have a family….Well he knew he would never risk her life and have children with her, firstly because he would just be a fucked up dad, and secondly he loved Beth too much to even risk her life like that. If anything would ever happen to her, he wouldn't think twice and walk straight into a herd of walkers.

She had told him about the crappy movies she liked, the Booknote or something like that and Love something… He knew what he had to do, he had to find her ol'man and make things right.

Merle found Hershel in the garden taking care of the veggies, once a farmer always a farmer.

"Need to talk t'ya."

"Good morning to you too Merle," Said Hershel concentrating on his tomatoes again.

"Morning." Merle grumbled. He had to be nice, he was about to ask a man who barely tolerated him to give him his most precious gift. He extended his good hand toward Hershel to help him up. "I really need to talk to ya ol'man."

Hershel frowned, accepting Merle's hand. It had to be important as Merle usually tried to stay as far away as possible. Hershel sat on the bench and gestured to Merle.

Merle started to pace back and forth, rubbing his neck. "Ya know I love yer daughter. Shit she is like meth to me. The thing is, I wanna make her happy. I know she mourn her life from before and all that romance crap. I think I can give it to her, not all but a part of it." Merle took a deep breath. "I know it means shit right now but I wanna make a commitment to her, If not in front of the law in front of yer god. I wan't her to have a little piece of the normal life she dream of."

"I'm confused here son, what are you saying?"

Merle sighed loudly. "I wanna marry her." Merle stopped pacing and turned toward Hershel.

Hershel eyebrows shot up in surprise. He never expected Merle to want to do something like that. "Why do you ask me now?" He questioned, "Neither of you cared about me when you decided to get together. And when I forbade you both to keep doing what you were doing, you ignored me. So why now?"

Merle sat beside Hershel and lit a cigarette. "Couldn't stay away from her, I love her ol'man, love her more than ya think. I ain't strong enough to walk away from her. I want to be proper for once, I fucked up almost everything else, lemme have that one."

Hershel rubbed his beard, and stayed silent for a while…a while that seemed to Merle like an eternity. Hershel chuckled shaking his head.

Merle fisted his hand; he couldn't accept the idea of Hershel mocking him too. He was about to tell him to piss off when Hershel spoke.

"If anyone would have told me even just a month ago that I would even consider letting you marry my daughter I would say they had lost their freakin' mind and yet I'm sitting here, about to give you my blessing."

"What now?" Asked Merle taken aback. It couldn't be so easy could it?

Hershel turned to Merle. "You expected to have to fight me uh?"

"Yea I kind of did." Merle said still a little flabbergasted it had been so easy.

"I know when a fight is lost and I know that whether I say yes or not you will ask her to marry you and I know she will be happy. You are abrasive, crude, and hardened, but I see you with my Bethy when you think no one is looking. You are a different man, believe me or not but you remind me a lot of myself after I lost my Josephine. It took Annette to make me see the light and I believe that's what my Bethy did for you too. I saw you two, a couple of months back in the library, she was propped against you and you were reading to her. You love her, its plain on your face and you are what she wants. In this world you might just be what she needs. You would die for her wouldn't you?"

"In a heartbeat. I would kill anyone in the world for her."

"I know you would. So yes you have my blessing."

"I need yer help. I wanna make it worthwhile for her; I want her to have the best time."

"I think committing in front of our Lord would be enough, wearing a band showing the world you belong to someone."

Merle shook his head. "Nah won't be enough. I know she is young, she ain't lived anything good, she lost most of the people she loved before being legal. She won't be doing all the shit girls her age dream of. She even ended up being with an old son of a bitch like me. I can't give her safety, a home, children…I want to give her a proper proposal."

"Well I'm not the best for that. You should go to the person that knows Beth better than anyone else. "

"And who's that?" Merle asked hoping it wasn't who he thought Hershel was referring to.

"I think you know."

"Fuck!" Merle spat. The person who knew Beth better than anyone else was the person that hated Merle the most…Maggie Greene.

Hershel laughed. "Yeah…good luck with that."

Merle found Maggie in tower one, keeping watch. He decided to be direct with her. He knew Maggie enough to know she would appreciate that.

"I wanna ask yer sister to marry me, yer pa gave his blessing."

Maggie was speechless, it was certainly not something she saw coming. Merle Dixon wanted to do something remotely romantic.

"Stop lookin at me like ya expect a monkey to crawl out of my fuckin' ass. Say somethin', normally ya can't keep yer yapper shut."

"It's just… .Well I didn't expect that." She said flabbergasted.

"Yea I know." Merle shrugged, burying his hand in his pocket. "But I couldn't find a dead raccoon so…"

Maggie looked embarrassed for a minute realizing he heard her conversation with Beth. "If my dad said yes and my stupid sister agrees, I don't see what I can do." She told him shrugging her shoulder before going back to work.

"I want to make it a perfect moment for yer sister. I need ya to come with me to the big mall by the highway and help me pick up stuff she'd like. Ya know what she dreamed of."

"I thought I did, I also thought she wanted a knight in shining armor not a dick wad in tin foil."

Merle decided to ignore that because in the end he deserved it. "Y'all help me or not?"

"Yea going to a mall just with you... Just a good plan…" Maggie shook her head, crossing her arms on her chest. She hated the man.

"Ya'll be safe, you think I'm gonna let anythin happen to ya?"

Maggie raised an eyebrow. "History is not on your side Dixon." She said coldly as she remembered how he gave her to the Governor without a second thought.

Merle shrugged. "That was before."

"Before what?" She asked her eyes flashing with anger at the pain she went through because of that.

"Before I loved yer sister. If anything happen to ya, it'd kill her. I ain't gonna cause her that kind of pain, not now, not ever. I'll protect ya with my life."

Maggie looked into his eyes, for the first time he seemed unguarded, almost fragile...Human somehow. Was that the side of Merle that Beth saw all the time? If that was the case, Maggie could see the appeal Beth saw about Merle. Maybe he could make her happy after all. Maggie could say what that he was trying at least...Sure he was failing most of the time but he tried and kept trying. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "When?" She asked giving in even though her brain screamed not to do it.

Merle grinned; it was not a grin Maggie saw before. It was not the predatory or the lusty grin he was always giving them. It was a genuinely happy grin and again Maggie was surprised, Merle was almost charming when he was smiling like that. Maybe her sister wasn't crazy, maybe there was two Merle Dixon's. The one that the world could see and the one that loved the one that only showed up when he was with her.

"Tomorrow at dawn, we can't have yer sister suspect a thang." He told her.

"Well she is not stupid you know, there is no way I'll ever go anywhere with you voluntary."

Merle nodded taking a drag of his cigarette. "Yea I know that I ain't got many friends here. Told her I'm gonna hunt with Daryl already."

Maggie nodded. "I'll tell her I'm going to keep Glenn company during his watch."

Merle wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Yea we all know what that shit means."

"Like you're the one to talk!" She said offended. "You and my sister are pretty vocal; Glenn and I almost vomited hearing you in tower 3 the other night when we were walking the perimeter."

Merle stood straight, like a proud peacock. "I'm old, but I know how to keep my woman satisfied...very satisfied."

Maggie made a gagging sound. "Yea and we're done here. See you in the morning, by your truck."

Merle nodded looking at Maggie leaving. She was a few feet away when she turned around briskly, and walked back to Merle.

Maggie pointed her finger to his face. "I'm going to tell you something Merle Dixon and I am only going to tell you once. I'm not saying I approve or that I like you. That will probably happen when Hell freezes over, but you seem to be okay enough when you're with my sister and for some reason she loves you more than should be allowed. I'll try to make peace with what you did and what you used to be, for her sake, but hurt her...only once and I'll kill you, do you understand me?"

Merle was taken aback by Maggie's words. Was she actually trying to tell him she was forgiving him? That she wanted a clean slate? "If I hurt her, I won't stop ya from killing me. I can't say she won't suffer, but I'm sure like hell gonna do my damn best to shield her from as much pain as I can. Good enough?"

Maggie nodded once before retreating again.

Merle chuckled, he liked Maggie's fierceness concerning Beth. He was not a fool. He was much older than Beth was and in the world they lived in he knew his life expectancy was very limited especially for being a chain smoker, a heavy drinker, and a drug user for so many years. If things went his way he would stay with her forever, but he knew he would die long before her. It broke his heart to know he would leave her alone one day, but knowing she would have Maggie with her helped him somehow.

**TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD**

The next morning Merle and Maggie spent about 4 hours at the Mall. Merle had to remind himself many times how much he loved Beth because even an empty mall gave him suicidal ideas. How some people enjoyed it was beyond him.

They found everything they needed for the evening, even more than he thought they needed, but Maggie said it was essential and Merle who knew nothing about all the romance shit took her word for it.

On their drive back, Merle couldn't help but wonder if the tuxedo hadn't been just too much. Maggie had been way too excited by their shopping spree and he couldn't help but wonder if she wasn't trying to make it perfect for herself too. Maggie had told Merle that Beth had dreamed about that day since she was a little girl... and that it had to be as perfect as it could be. To be fair Merle never understood that, the decor or settings didn't matter, in his mind only the person did but maybe he was just too simplistic. Instead he just let Maggie take over the trip and said yes to everything she picked, the only thing he refused for her to mettle with was the rings. It had to be his pick. If things went his way she would be wearing these rings for the rest of her life, he wanted to be the one choosing what she wore for the rest of her life.

_The jewellery store was their last stop and weirdly enough it was completely intact. Well in retrospective when trying to survive in a world full of flesh eating monster__s__ getting a diamond was not top of the list__ for most people__. He picked two matching wedding bands that Maggie tried to make sure would fit Beth __and himself__. He also picked a beautiful white gold, diamond and emerald Victorian engagement ring. He would never have been able to buy that for Beth he realized as Maggie tried the ring __on__. In the life before the apocalypse he was working for a roofing company, it would have probably taken him 3 year__s' worth of__ salary to pay __for __that ring._

"_It fits?" He asked praying it would. He knew it was the right ring for her as soon as they walked in. _

_Maggie nodded. "Quite tight on me, so perfect for Beth__,__" __She told him__ looking at the ring head cocked on her side as if she was pondering something. _

"_Don't wann hear it… If ya don't like it ain't my problem. I think it's perfect for Beth." He replied extending his hand for the ring. _

_Maggie took off the ring and gave it to him. "All I wanted to say was that you had quite good taste for a hick." _

_Merle snorted as they exited the store to their truck. "Ya should've figured that before." _

"_How?"_

"_I chose yer sister, didn't I?"_

_Maggie pondered that for a second. "I guess you're right. But to be honest, I'm pretty sure it's my sister who chose you before you chose her...there is no accounting for taste __in that case__." _

_Merle had laughed out loud at that one. It was true it was his little vixen that had pursued him first, he should have known that fight__ing__ her would have been a lost cause. As soon as she had kissed him he had been a goner. _

Once they made it back to the prison, Carol and Daryl came to the truck.

"Beth is busy keeping the kids all day, we're good," said Carol with visible excitement. They had enough pain and drama in their lives, a little romance and happiness was way overdue.

Daryl kissed Carol's forehead before punching Merle's arm. "Ready brother? Can't believe yer about to go through with that."

Merle smiled, "I know, you and I both. But I reckon I would have done it anyway so...She got me whipped." He laughed.

Daryl laughed. "Yea, but be honest it feels good to be whipped isn't it?" he said glancing at Carol with a knowing smile.

Merle nodded. "Shit it really does."

Maggie opened the back of the truck and started to take some bags. "Okay so this is Beth's stuff," she said extending the bags to Daryl. "This is Merle tux," she added pointing to the black bag on the backseat. "Put it in his cell with this grey backpack," she added getting Daryl's attention. She turned to Carol. "Carol, Merle and I will set up tower three for tonight. We need to make sure to get them two lovebirds over there just after sunset."

Daryl eyes darted from the bags to Maggie, to the bags again before darting on Merle with an expression that seemed to say,_ 'What the fuck was that?'_

Merle shrugged dismissively. "I don't know bro, I guess she's the wedding planner or something like that. Didn't shut her yapper during the whole fucking trip, I didn't decide nothing, 'cept for the rings."

Maggie crossed her arms on her chest and glared at Daryl and Merle. "Are you two complaining about something?"

Both Merle and Daryl shook their head negatively. After all, they both knew they didn't want to cross her today.

"Thought so..." She grumbled. "Okay people let's get to work! Operation "Beth fairy tale" has commenced."

**TWDTWDTWD**

Beth had been surprised when she saw Carol, Maggie and Karen come to block D.

"Karen will be taking over for you now Beth." Said Maggie extending her hand to Beth, "We have to go."

Beth's heart started to hammer in her chest, did something happen to Merle on his hunt today? "Is Merle okay? Is he hurt?" She asked paling at the thought of anything happening to him.

"Merle is fine sweetheart," said Carol soothingly wrapping her arm around Beth's waist. "He is back unscratched. We just need you for something."

"Okay..." Beth trailed off the uncertainty of what they wanted evident in her voice.

Carol and Maggie took her to the bathroom. Beth's eyebrows shot up in surprise when she saw the vanilla shower gel and vanilla shampoo along with some fancy French vanilla body cream. She walked to the bench and noticed some beautiful emerald lace matching bra and thong set.

Beth blushed a deep red pointing at the lingerie. "What is that for?"

Carol and Maggie exchanged a knowing smile. "We are not at liberty to say, but believe me you're going to love it. Just get in the shower now we are on a schedule here."

Beth felt the excitement increase and almost ran to the shower. Beth had always loved surprises and she was pretty sure she was about to enjoy this one.

When Beth was done showering and put on the underwear, Maggie showed her a dress that took her breath away. It was Emerald, the bodice was sleeveless and it was pretty, stopping just above her knees. It looked a lot like a prom dress...Did they organize her a prom? To be honest Beth didn't care, it was probably the most beautiful dress she had ever seen.

"Where did you get that?"

"Not relevant," Said Maggie dismissively, "just put it on."

Once Beth put the dress on Maggie did her hair and Carol did her make-up before putting some silver heel sandals on her feet.

"I never knew how to walk in heels," Said Beth looking down at her feet like they were independent parts of her body.

Maggie chuckled. "You'll be okay little sister, I'll help you."

Beth could see the emotion in her sister's and Carol face which was getting her emotional too without even knowing what was going on.

"You're going to love it little sister, I know you will. Now you will just have to trust us." Maggie took Beth's hand to the prison door. "We need to cover your eyes." Maggie added as Carol put a scarf on Beth's eyes.

Beth was in complete darkness and took a wobbly step forward. Beth felt Maggie reach for her hands. "Trust me, I won't let you fall." Maggie said. Beth couldn't see her but she heard the smile in her voice.

They walked for a few minutes. "We're going up steps now." Beth knew that based on the number of steps and the metallic noise she was hearing each time her heels hit a step they were getting into a tower... it was way too small for any kind of party.

"We're here," she heard Maggie say but didn't hear the other person answer. "Uh I have to admit you clean up kind of well." Maggie added and this time Beth recognized Merle's low chuckle.

"Merle?" She tried with her brightest smile.

"Jest a minute angel." He replied.

Maggie kissed Beth cheek. "Love you little sister," she whispered.

Beth heard the door close; she was itching to take off her blindfold. Soft music started, she recognized straight away _So Close_ by Jon McLaughlin! It was one of her favorite song from one of her favorite movie's _Enchanted_.

"You can remove your blindfold now sweetheart."

Beth gasped when her eyes connected with Merle. Maggie said he cleaned up well, Beth thought he was literally stunning. He was wearing a black tuxedo, it was a bit tight but it showed off his powerful chest in just the perfect light, he was closely shaved and even his hair had been cut. She looked around the room that was lit with dozens of candles. There was an old fashion radio, the kind that worked on batteries that was playing a CD. There even was a table set up for two in a corner, and a blanket with two pillows in another corner.

Her eyes filled up with tears, even in a million years she wouldn't have expected to live something like that, seeing Merle was not even a dream it was utopia. "Merle..." She whispered her voice cracking with emotion.

Merle extended his hand. "Dance with me sweetheart." Seeing her so beautiful was affecting him much more than he thought it would. He was getting emotional too and it was so confusing for him, he was 45 years old and it was the first time he ever felt like that.

Beth took his hand. "Merle you are stunning." She said sincerely, resting her other hand on his shoulder.

Merle wrapped his mutilated arm around her waist and pulled her close. "Calling me stunning is an insult when yer here. You were always beautiful angel, but right this second yer out of this world. Jest seeing ya...Seriously my dick almost ripped my pants." He added pulling her even closer for her to feel the bulge in his pants.

Beth giggled. He was Merle Dixon after all, this was something romantic for him to say and she loved every part of him. "We'll take care of that problem later."

"I'll hold you to that," he whispered before kissing her lips softly.

They swayed with the music for a little while as Merle gathered his courage.

Beth had her cheek on Merle's chest. She had her eyes closed, the beautiful music, his strong body and soft heartbeat. She felt like she was in paradise, she wanted to freeze this moment and live with it forever. "I didn't know you could dance; you didn't seem like the type."

Merle laughed and it made his chest vibrate. "I really can't, I'll have to thank officer friendly later. He showed me a few things, I almost punched him a few time in the process but I guess he was right."

"Ummm…" Beth looked up and kissed his jaw line making him shiver. "You'll thank him for me too."

"Will do," Merle looked down and kissed her nose. "I love ya sweetheart. I know I'm a shitty guy sometimes. I don't know how to be good'nough for ya, I'm tryin but this romance and stuff, is new fer me. Ain't natural ya know?"

Beth let go of his shoulder and cradled his cheek. "I swear I wouldn't want you any other way. You are making me happy, happier than I ever thought I could be in a world like this."

"I still think I can do better, ya need to know..." Merle took a deep breath. "At night when I come to bed, ya map my face line by line, ya kiss my tired eyes. Ya don't even know, it means the world to me sweetheart. Nobody was soft or nice to me 'fore I met ya, not even my mama who cared more about her bottle than her rugrats. I never knew how to love or be loved. I ain't much I know that. I'm rough, I don't look like much." He snorted. "I can't say shit to ya without being rude, I know I ain't gonna be enough, and I know it ain't much but ya need to know I'm yours."

Tears started to fall down her face. "You are not much for me Merle, you're right about that. You're everything." She told him honestly.

Merle stopped dancing; he brought his hand to her face and softly dried her tear with his thumb pad before bringing it to his mouth. "I never wanna make ya cry again, I know I screw up. I know I'm an ass. I don't know how to say beautiful shit, never heard them, I know I don't tell ya I love ya as much as I should but never doubt, not ever of a second, no matter what I say or do that I love ya more than anythin."

"These are happy tears Merle, I know this wasn't easy for you. I know you did all that for me. Nobody ever did anything so unique for me. You went out of your way for me. This is so close to being my happy ending, I can almost taste it."

"Glad you mentioned happy ending." Merle replied taking a step back. "Ya know I had a reason to organize tonight."

"To get laid?" She asked a knowing expression on her face.

"Ah sweetheart we both know I don't need all this to get you hot and willing, just a kiss and your panties drop."

Beth didn't even bother to contradict him, just a look from him could get her undone and he knew it.

"I've been thinkin for a while now and I know commitment matters to ya a lot and since I met ya it matters lots to me too. I know the world's gone to hell and that there is no law to recognize us anymore but I want people to know I'm committed to ya and yer committed to me. Ya were moulded for me Beth and I was constructed for ya. You belong to me and I belong to you."

"That's a given Merle."

Merle nodded. "For us it is but I wanna to make it clear to the world. I wanna make peace with yer God. Make it right by him and by ya."

Beth rested her hand on her chest as her heart starting to beat rapidly. "I...what are you trying to say?"

Merle brought one knee on the floor and reached in his pocket for the engagement ring. "Bethany Josephine Greene, will you marry me?"

Beth brought her hand to her mouth. "I- yes of course I'll marry you!"

Merle reached for her hand and slid the ring that fit perfectly. He then brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

Beth looked at the ring. "Oh Merle it's beautiful, I couldn't have picked a better one myself."

Merle stood up and grinned proud like a peacock. "I picked it myself." He leaned down. "Can I get a kiss?"

Beth kissed him passionately. "You will have much, much more." She whispered against his lips.

"Let's make things official before." He reached in his pocket again and got the two wedding bands in his hand. "It's the first time I'm glad I got my left hand. Ready to be Beth Dixon?" He asked.

Beth nodded reaching for the band and sliding it on her finger just after the engagement ring. "Are you ready to be mine?" She asked taking the wedding band from him.

"I've always been yers darlin' even before I met ya." He replied sincerely as she slid the wedding band on his finger.

"Make love to me now husband…it's our wedding night after all." She told him intertwining their fingers while pulling him to the blanket.

"Husband…" he tried the word. "I love the sound of that. Beth, my wife." He smiled, "I love that even more. Wife." He repeated as he started to kiss down her neck to her bare shoulder. "I don't think I'll ever have enough of ya."

Beth wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer. "That's good because I feel the same."

Merle made love to his new wife a few times that night and he was grateful they were so far from the others. Beth could let herself go and when he heard her moans and screams of pleasure he knew it was because of him….it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

"Husband?" Asked Beth sleepily as they laid spent but satisfied.

"Yes wife?" He kissed the top of her head.

"Now that we're married…" She propped herself up on her elbow and kissed his jawline. "I'd like for us to try for a baby."

**-The end -**


	6. Chapter 6 - Break up part 1

**A.N**:

Hey guys!

Here my latest METH one –shot actually this one shot was so long (more than 20 pages) I decided to post it in 2 parts. This is part 1 from Beth POV. Part 2 to come soon. Don't forget to review me I just **ADORE** reading you. For the record this chapter has not been proofread and English is not my first language please be tolerant. This story has been inspired by **Athlete Girl** breakup one shot in her 'Anniversaries' story.

Steffy2106

Ps I still don't own the Walking Dead

**The break-up – Part 1**

_We're done_. It was all that Merle had said to Beth over a month ago and she still couldn't believe it. For her it was just a dream he couldn't have done that, threw it all away just because she made the mistake to tell him she loved him. She had been so sure he loved her too even if he would never say it. She could see it his eyes when he was making love to her, she could feel it in his touch… How could she have been so wrong?

They had been together for a few months when Woodbury survivors and some other joined the prison. Merle had been extremely protective of her and she had loved that, he showed she was his and that he cared.

She was happy until that day when it all unravelled. She had been preparing formula for Judith when two of the younger guys walked in.

One of them asked her out, she politely declined letting them know she was already seeing someone.

"_Please tell me the rumors are wrong" said the tall blond one. "You're not dating the one hand grandpa are you?"_

_Beth crossed her arms on her chest, feeling rage build up. She didn't have much spunk as far as she was concerned, but when someone touched a person she loves, she was turning in a real banshee. And she loved Merle more than anything in the world._

"_You both combined are not half the man that Merle is and you will never be so don't you dare bad mouth him." To be fair, both guys were quite tall and buff but they didn't live like Merle did, they didn't have the physical and emotional scars her man was wearing. _

"_Not half the man he is uh?" Said the blond one, taking a step toward Beth while his friend quickly looked around as to make sure there was nobody around. "Maybe we can show you…"_

_Beth took a step back, maybe she should have thought before talking. _

"_What'bout ya two show me." Said Merle, coming down the stairs. _

_Beth couldn't contain the smile that spread on her lips every time she saw him. He was wearing a clean wife beater and the pair of black khaki pants Beth had washed and mended just yesterday. His hair was still glistering from the shower he just took. _

'_Make ya feel like men to threaten a girl? Come play with someone yer size.' Merle added with a predatory grin. _

_Both guys looked at each other probably assessing the situation, they had heard stories about Merle, everybody did and they usually kept a safe distance._

_The blond guy jerked his head toward Merle and the Dark hair one attacked. Merle was laughing dodging him easily. _

"_Come on big boy, that's all you got? Man… Just sit down sweetheart; I'll be done in a minute." He said to Beth. _

_Beth chuckled and shook her head. Usually Merle cocky side was getting on her nerves but right now it was turning her on. The all alpha male Merle had going on was quite sexy. _

_Merle punched the black hair guy in the nose, and Beth heard the sickening crack from the other side of the room. _

_At the same moment, the blond guy sneaked up on Merle and punched him on the side. From this point forward the fight had not been fair. The surprise gave a small advantage to the two boys and they jumped on it like hyenas. _

_Beth didn't know what to do; she knew Merle was still sore from yesterday irrigation work. He had spent most of the day outside in the blinding sun, digging a gutter to get water directly to the vegetable field they had._

_She was about to intervene and go kick one of the guy in the nuts when Luke appeared out of nowhere. He grabbed the blond guy and threw him so hard against the wall, he passed out. _

_Merle knocked the other one out with one punch before turning to Luke with anger. "Why d'ya mettle in my shit boy? I could have taken both." _

"_I know, I just-"_

"_Ya jest nothin'" Merle roared. "Next time just mind yer own shit." He added, taking the bottom of his shirt to wipe the blood from his face. _

_Beth hurried toward him, grabbing his arm. "Let's go take care of these wounds" she said gently. _

"_I'm fine!" He snapped, getting his arm out of her grip._

"_Merle Dixon don't you dare snap at me!" She said slapping his arm. "Now let's go to the infirmary and I won't say it again."_

_Merle grumbled something under his breath about women being pain in the ass. He kicked the dark hair boy on the floor, threw a last glare to Luke before storming in the direction of the infirmary. _

_Beth sighed throwing a grateful smile to Luke. "Thank you." She whispered. _

_Luke shrugged, burying his hands in his pocket. "Don't mention it. Everything's okay?" He asked, jerking his head toward the direction Merle just took. _

_Beth waved her hand dismissively. "He is just a grumpy bear, he'll be fine." _

"_Could have taken them both." Merle grumbled again as soon as she walking in the infirmary._

"_Sit" she said, pointing to the chair while she looked for alcohol and gauze. "I know you could have Merle but seriously you could have thanked Luke, his heart was at the right place." _

_Merle snorted. "Don't like the kid." _

_Beth shook her head as she started to work on the cut on Merle eyebrow. Most of the men in a relationship didn't like it when Luke joined the group mostly because of the way he looked. Luke had been the star Quarterback of UGA and he was on his way for the NFL, it didn't help the jealous side that he looked just like Michael Eely. He was perfect but Beth had never seen him that way, she loved Merle and nothing else mattered. _

_Merle hissed as Beth clean his busted lip. _

"_Oh shush you big baby." She kissed his forehead "As for my part I am grateful he intervened. I know you would have won at the end but at what cost uh? I hate to see you hurt, it hurts me too." _

_Merle caught her wrist and kissed the inside of it gently, making her shiver. _

_However, when he looked up to her there was no desire or amusement, just an extreme seriousness she had never seen before. _

"_I heard everything they said to ya." _

"_So what?" She shrugged. "I don't care what they said." _

"_D'ya hear these kind of shit often? Do people often mock us?"_

"_Why should you care if they do or don't? You always said that you couldn't care less on what people thought of you."_

"_I know but I don't wanna them to hurt ya with their venomous mouth." _

_Beth smiled, cradling his cheek in her hand. "They can say what they want, believe me it's nothing that my own father hadn't said before but I don't care. I've never been happier than I am now, even before the outbreak. You and I it works perfect, we fit…" She looked deep into his eyes and took a deep breath. "I love you Merle Dixon, I love you so much it makes it hard to breathe." Here, she said it there was no turning back now. She had planned to tell him she loved him sometimes in a more romantic settings…maybe one night after he made love to her but she had done it now, in the cold infirmary after his ego had been bruised as much as his face. _

_If he felt anything at her confession, his face didn't betray it. He simply reached for her hand on his cheek and kissed her palm before standing up. "Got to go, Officer friendly is waiting for me to take over in the tower." _

"_Wait I'm not done"! She said coming back to reality. She hadn't expected him to tell her he loved her too, but she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed anyway. _

"_It's fine for now, I'll see ya tonight." He added leaving the infirmary without a look back. _

_That night he had walked in her cell, and broke her heart. _

"_We're done" he said coldly._

_Beth jumped from her bed, her heart stuck in her throat. She had been terrified to hear these words for months but not anymore. "What? Is it because of what I said?"_

_Merle shrugged, crossing his arms on his chest. "Nah, not really I jest realized that ya and I….ain't doin' it for me no more and now ya love me? I'm sorry girly but I don't love ya and will never love ya. Ain't fair on you to keep stringing you along and not fair on me to be stuck with ya out of guilt." He sighed. "Yer fun and all but…I need a real woman, hope ya understand."_

Beth shivered at the memory, she had begged him…begged him to stay. She even had gotten on her knees. Her stomach heaved at the memory. She always despised women that threw themselves to men feet begging to be with them and she had done that with Merle, she was disgusted with herself to have so little self-respect and she hated him for just doing that to her.

She hadn't believed it was true, she thought he had just been scared or something and that, such as Daryl, the only reaction he knew was to run away.

She went to his cell that night to try to change his mind, but he had been with another woman already, one of the Woodbury refugees. She was naked on all four and he was taking her from behind. They were grunting with pleasure and this noise had been breaking Beth's heart a little bit more until Merle looked up and met her eyes. There was nothing in his eyes, no shame, no remorse…nothing. He gave her a cold smile before starting to pound even harder in the other woman. Beth had run away and vomited by the stairs. She knew the images would stay in her mind forever, and she also knew they would be no turning back now. Merle Dixon was out of her life.

That realization had knocked the air out of her lungs, she had fallen on her knees trying to catch her breath but she felt like she couldn't.

She had been on the verve of passing out, when strong arms lifted her from the ground and carried her away.

"Everything will be okay; it's just a panic attack. Just breath Beth, just think about inhaling and exhaling…nothing else." Luke has whispered soothingly carrying her to his cell. She had stayed in a complete mutism for almost a week.

When Beth finally got out of her almost catatonic states, she moved by Luke's cell mostly because he was becoming her best friend and because it was as far away as possible from Merle and everybody else.

She had expected her father to argue as he always did but he seemed only too happy to let her walk away and she started to feel better, every day she was a little bit stronger but she knew her heart had been broken beyond repair and she didn't want to fix it. She decided to hold to the pain to never, ever let it happen again.

Luke came in the cell and found her in a ball in the middle of the bed.

He sighed sitting beside her, wrapping on of his powerful arm around her shoulders. "Bunny you are not slipping back into a catatonic state right?"

She shook her head. "No I won't I just- "

"You just what?"

"Every morning, when I wake up for just a second I feel good, everything is falling into place and then I look beside me and he is not here and I hear him again I see her and…" Beth took a shaky breath.

"It's like the song by Kelly Clarkson you know 'the trouble with love'."

Beth turned to Luke, and rested her forehead against his. "How can they don't know you're gay?"

Luke chuckled. "I have years of experience in hiding it." He sighed. "Well I will only be able to hide it for so long bunny. You know Jason and I we're quite close and-"

"I'm sorry for making your life harder than it should."

Luke shook his head. "No I don't mind, I was even the one proposing you to be your fake boyfriend but I am scared some people might figure it out."

Beth nodded resting her forehead on her knees. "Just give me a few weeks, I'll get better…I just need to be strong enough."

"Strong enough for what?"

"For being able to see him and breathe right."

Luke sighed, holding her closer. "I love you Beth."

"I love you too Luke, thanks for being here…" She frowned "also why are you here?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's early, aren't you supposed to work on something?"

Luke chuckled. "Damn, how swiftly are you dismissing my love. Nah, your sister sent me ." He added much more seriously.

"What does she want?" Beth knew she hadn't been fair but since Merle and her broke up, she stayed as far away from her sister and father as she could. She knew they had nothing to do with her heartbreak, but she also knew they were happy about the break up and she couldn't help being angry. She didn't tell them anything or was outright mean to them but she kept her distance with them and they had been gracious enough to do the same.

"They're going on a run tomorrow and they didn't go for women supplies for over two months she wonders if you need anything."

Beth went to the wooden box by her bed, and looked in it. "I—" She was cut off by the bell ringing.

Luke jumped from the bed, reaching for his machete. "Walkers break-in!"

Beth felt a rush of adrenaline, and for the first time in weeks her heart didn't hurt. She grabbed her knife. "I'm coming with you."

Luke nodded just before taking her hand, and pulling her down the corridor.

They arrived breathless by the south wall. Merle, Daryl and Glenn were fighting about a dozen walkers.

Beth spotted a small woman and rushed toward her. She sneaked up behind her and stabbed her straight in the back of the head.

"What the fuck" she heard a growl not too far beside her and she didn't need to look to know it was Merle.

Beth turned toward another walker and froze. Not from fear, but with a dreadful realization. Was it really two months since they went for women supplies? She shook her head…No it was not-

She felt a hand grab her forearm roughly, and pulling her back.

"Damn it girly, get the fuck out of here!" Merle barked, stabbing the walker with his prosthetic.

Beth didn't get a chance to get close of another walker again as every time she was concentrating on one, Merle was stepping in front of her to kill it.

When they were done, Merle turned and punched Luke in the jaw so hard he fell on the floor.

"What was that for?" Asked Luke, rubbing his jaw.

"She's yer woman!" Merle said pointed to Beth his breathing ragged with his furor. "Yer supposed to keep her safe not run her to danger."

"She has the right to do what she wants to do. I'm her man as you said not her keeper, the choice is hers." Luke said trying to stand but he was back on the floor after a swift kick in the leg by Merle.

Beth pushed Merle with all her strength which didn't seem to bother the mountain of a man he was.

"What?" He barked at her.

"Who d'you think you are to tell him what to do? I'm a person and I make my own choices. We're not in Merle's dictatorship."

"If ya think for a minute I'm jest gonna stand here and let you risk yer life; yer out of your damn mind woman because it's never gonna happen! Do you hear me?" He took a step toward her. "Never!" He roared to her face.

Beth didn't even flinch while the men to a physical step back. Merle was scary but furious Merle was terrifying not for her though. She knew better by now and if she was honest, it was the first time in weeks that she felt alive again, the adrenaline and fighting eased the pain.

For a minute she had not been the broken little girl who hurt with every breath she took. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she felt good and if she had to risk her life and fight walkers to feel at peace then so be it, she had nothing left to lose anyways…All the sudden death didn't seem that terrifying.

Beth crossed her arms on her chest. "Well it's good you don't have your say on what I do or don't anymore. Don't worry nobody would blame you if I ever got killed. I'm not your responsibility anymore."

Beth turned to leave but Merle caught her wrist and held it so tightly she was sure she would bruise but she kept her face blank, she didn't want to show him he was hurting her more than he already had.

"Is it what it's all about? Yer trying to take yer revenge?" He asked so softly that she was sure only she could hear.

Beth burst into laughter. Give it to Merle to make everything about himself. She saw his jaw tightened, and his hold on her wrist tightened even more. "No, I want to fight walkers that's all."

"You've seen them take down even the best of us. Aren't you scared of dying?" He asked keeping his eyes locked with her. He knew her well and would be able to see through her lies

Beth took a deep breath, and decided to be honest with him. She took a couple of steps forward, she was so close her boots were touching his. She looked up and gave him a cold smile. "You can't fear dying when you have no reason to live." She said barely louder than a whisper, for him only. "Now let go of my wrist."

Merle didn't expect such a revelation from her, and let go of her.

Beth shook her head and walked away without a look back closely followed by Luke.

"Maybe he wasn't completely wrong you know." Said Luke as they entered Block D again.

Beth cleaned her knife as soon as she entered in her room. "What do you mean?"

"You, fighting. You're not very well trained and-" He shrugged. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Beth turned to him. "I'm doing what's right for me but if you're worried I'll get training okay?"

Luke nodded, and sat on the bed.

"I need you to go on the run with them tomorrow." She said sitting beside him.

"What? Why? Whatever you need they can get it for you."

Beth reached for his hand and intertwined their fingers. "I know they can but it's a secret, it's something I only trust you with."

Luke sighed and shook his head. "Okay fine….What do you need?"

Beth took a deep breath, not even believing herself what she was about to say. "I need you to bring me back a pregnancy test."

**To be continued **


	7. Chapter 7 - The Break-Up part 2

**A.N:** Hey guys,

As promised there is part 2 and yes I know what you will think at the end you will be "what now?!" but don't worry I'll do a part 3 I just wanted to jump a few months. Keep clam and Meth on :P

Reviews?

**Break-up Part 2: **

Merle was tossing and turning in his bed not able to get comfortable. What Beth had told him yesterday didn't sit well with him at all. Did she really mean it when she said she had no reason to live? What about her man? He was perfect for her in every way or at least that was what the old farmer had convinced him of.

Merle sat on his cot, massaging his achy stump. He tried to avoid looking at Beth and the stupid football player for the past month, even if he had done the right thing when he let her go, he still felt she was his deep down and seeing her with another was more hurtful than he was willing to admit. But yesterday, he had no choice, and the dynamic between them had not been right…They were close that was sure but it didn't call 'couple' it sounded wrong.

Merle sighed giving up on sleep; he needed to make sure he actually did what was right. Merle had always been a selfish being, always doing what made him happy and Beth made him happy, very happy. He never thought he could have someone as good as her and yet, she had chosen him.

When the old farmer had found out about him and Beth he took Merle aside and told him that he would never make her happy, that she thought she was happy but being with him would stop her from being with someone that could actually make her happy, someone that would live longer. Merle hadn't listened to Hershel at the time, he was way too good with Beth to even consider letting her go. If she was satisfied with him, why would he consider letting her go for '_her own good'_?

But then he had heard these two pricks mocking them, and he realized that Hershel's opinion was shared by others and this didn't sit well with him. After that, she told him she loved him and the first urge he had, has been to walk away. What if Hershel had been right from the start? What if Merle was actually bad for her?

He went to Hershel again after leaving her alone in the infirmary.

"_What d'ya mean I ain't good for yer daughter?" Asked Merke as soon as he had walked into Hershels' cell. "I ain't forcing her to be with me ya know. If she wanna go she is free to go." _

"_But while she is with you, she can't see anybody else and once she will, well… It will be too late. You know she will not leave you until you died."_

Merle hated himself for what he had done to her he wouldn't deny it but she needed to want to stay away from him and he knew that what he did with that Woodbury woman had no turning back.

Merle had and always would have an addictive personality. He had been addicted to drug, alcohol and... and he had lost all that when the world went to hell but then he found Beth and it changed everything. He became addicted to her, he fought it and lost…Every time he was touching her, it was like being high but it even felt better. He could never get enough of her, and he knew that his resolve would crumble to nothing sooner or later. He knew that all the good intention in the world would not make up for her beautiful doe eyes. He had walked away, but he knew he would not be able to resist her if she tried to have him back and if he was completely honest he would admit that he probably wouldn't even try to resist.

So, as his resolve of doing the right thing was still strong, he did the unforgivable. Something so monstrous that he knew she couldn't see past it, he became the man he was before he met her.

He knew Beth could overlook a lot of things as far as he was concerned and god knew how impressed he was with her ability to forgive him. All his asshole moves, his lack of romanticism, his crude language, his messiness….She overlooked it all, but he knew as she told him the only thing she would never forgive was being cheated on. Ether they were together or they weren't, there couldn't be double standards.

He had wanted her to hate him, to stay away from him and if one day his will crumbled, he wanted her to kick him to the curb. Hate would help her move on.

He hadn't even cared about the Woodbury woman and he actually had to close his eyes and imagined it was Beth, because truth be told, Beth had broken him. He became one of the pussy men he always mocked, he was weak. Hell… even if didn't want to admit it, the girl had made her way in his chest, she had become a part of him. He had changed so much that after that night with the woman, after making sure they were no turning back, Merle hadn't touched another woman and he didn't even want to. He was hers and always would be even if she would never know that.

Merle was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even realized he had walked all the way to block D. He heard a soft moan and his stomach heaved. Was it his Beth being intimate with the stupid football player? Merle turned around, he didn't want to see that but he reassessed the situation. Maybe he needed to see that, just thinking of her being with another man gave him murdering thoughts but maybe seeing her would help him to be over her; to move on too.

He frowned to the couple kissing in the corner, it was the football player but the other person was not Beth it was another guy.

Merle couldn't believe how relieved he felt at this exact minute. The guy was just a fucking fag!

He would go see the old farmer, show him how wrong he had been. Maybe Hershel didn't know any better he had been dead wrong concerning the fag. He might have been wrong about him and Beth too.

Merle sighed, he wanted to go see Beth…She was probably sleeping by now, but he just wanted to see her without her guard up. He had been working so hard to stay away but she didn't have to know, nobody had to know.

As he approached the cell he knew she was occupying, he could hear some very soft sobs he recognized as hers.

Knowing he was the probable cause of her tears hurt him more than he was ready to admit. When he glanced in, her back was to him and he could see her shoulders move up and down with her sobs.

Merle tightened his hand in a fist; it was so tight it was actually painful. He had to use all his self-restraint not to go in the room and comfort her. He had no right to even consider the idea to touch her. He took a subconscious step forward and stopped just before entering the cell.

He rubbed his hand on his head looking down and frowned. There was a box on the floor by her bed, it was too dark and sadly his vision was not was it used to. He was about to go closer but he heard a bed squeak in a nearby cell.

Merle shook his head. First thing first, he had to deal with the old farmer first.

The next morning Merle found Hershel in the garden and decided to be straight with the man it was not like he had something to lose anymore.

"How d'ya feel 'bout fucking yer daughter life?"

"Excuse me?" asked Hershel taken aback.

"Ain't excusing ya. Ya rather yer daughter be with a fag than with me?" Merle shook his head and snorted. "Ya know yer daughter so well dontcha? D'ya know she is cryin every night uh? D'ya know football guy ain't making yer daughter happy? Ain't into bearded clam, he likes a big hard cock." Merle added groping himself.

He smirked when Hershel recoiled under Merle's extreme crudeness.

"D'ya know yer daughter went head first in a pack of walker and he ain't stopping her? Ya said you wanted her happy and safe; I was giving her that but he ain't giving her that and y'all know I would." Merle shook his head. "And I was dumb enough to listen to ya. Ya made me fuck it up!" He shouted only a centimeter from the old man face.

Hershel remained silent for a minute. Merle almost expected Hershel to punch him instead Hershel looked away. "You might be right."

"What?" The old man clearly didn't know Merle slept with another woman.

Hershel sighed looking away. "I never really realized how happy you made my girl until you two parted. But you're just so…so…."

"Fucked up? Not good enough? I knew that and now it's too late."

Hershel looked away. "Maybe not, I can plead your cause. Go see her."

"And you'll do that why? You hate me." Merle knew it was pointless anyways, he cheated.

Hershel shook his head. "I don't hate you; I hated the idea of you being with my daughter. You're everything a father wouldn't want, but at the same time, you might just have been just everything she wanted and maybe everything she needed too." Hershel let out a tired sigh. "When you broke up with her I saw her crumble but I thought it was for the best, and I ignored everything. But you're right, you kept her safe and as happy as she could be in this world. I was just too proud to admit it."

Merle snorted. "Yea well now it's too late, ain't gonna forgive what I did, she can't."

"Never underestimate the power of love and forgiveness."

Merle looked at Hershel trying so hard to believe him. He frowned, remembering the box on Beth's floor. "What's 'Clear blue'?"

**TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWTDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD**

"Yer pregnant?"

Beth froze, her hand tightening on the Luke Tee-shirt she was about to fold. She was glad she was turning her back to him as the color drained from her face. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

She slowly turned around, holding the shirt tightly against her chest. Merle was leaning against the wall blocking the exit. She hated him so much. Well no, not him, she hated how much she loved him. He had been despicable and yet she couldn't help her heart to beat faster just at the sight of him. It was like her heart was a traitor. Her brain knew he was no good, and yet her heart keep betraying him.

"Pregnant? Not that I know of." She replied trying to keep her eyes lock with his. She shook her head, turning her back to him again. She hoped he would think she was getting back to her task and not trying to hide her liar face. She was not an idiot, in a couple of month he would see the truth but she was not there yet. "You shouldn't be here."

"Why not? I don't see a sign."

She turned around again. "I don't want you here."

"Is that why ya were crying last night? cuz you ain't pregnant?"

"Why I was crying or not is none of your business. And I don't appreciate the fact of being spied on. You have lost any right when you walked away. I want you to go now Merle."

"Is that what ya want? A baby?"

What if I do? She asked challenging, crossing her arms on her chest.

Merle shrugged. "Aint football dude that gonna get ya pregnant, saw him exchanging spit with the other fag."

"Don't talk like that, not in front of me."

"I am sorry, what was I thinking?….i'm talkin' bout yer homo boyfriend. And doesn't change the fact he ain't gonna get ya pregger."

"What if he is gay? What's your point here?" She asked neither infirming nor denying anything.

"If ya wanna have a baby, I ain't against it."

Beth let out laugh that was borderline hysteric, her laughter change into tears in the process. She sat heavily on the bed. "Why are you torturing me Merle? Seriously, I need to know." Beth was too tired to pretend anymore.

"I ain't-"

"Yes, yes you are! I tell you I love you and you break up with me. You sleep with another woman in front of me! You didn't speak a work to me for more than a month. You did all this like we meant nothing at all. I gave you the best of me but you told me I was not what you needed. And now you come to me and tell me we can have a baby if I wanted?! Do you even listen to yourself? Is that the best you have to sleep with me again?" She snorted. "Did your new friend left you?"

"I slept with her once, I haven't touched anyone else. She ain't you."

Beth looked down to hide her surprise. _Don't listen to him Beth he is messing with your head_. She told to herself. "It doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry. I never should have left ya, I thought I was doin' the right thang. Yer old'man told me I wasn't good fer ya and those damn kids said all these things." Merle rubbed his hand on his head before looking away. "Thought I was doing right by ya, I believed in that noble shit. I swear to whatever god there is that it's true."

She nodded. "I know." She finally admitted. If she was completely honest with herself that wss what she had been suspecting from the start, it was also the reason why she had gone to his cell that night. She knew her father had been trying to speak him out of the relationship from the start. She also knew that the words from the two guys had affected him more than he had been ready to admit. But he should have been talking to her, he should have been vulnerable at least once, and most of all he should have trusted her and the way she felt. She had tried to find him excuses, but she couldn't because there was none. He was running away and he always would.

"I have lots of regret, I messed up lots of shit but if I could change one thing in my life, just one" he said showing her one finger. "It would be walking away when you said you loved me. Tell me you don't love me anymore, tell me you hate me."

Beth gave him a sad smile. "I don't hate you. I tried, but I can't. You were right you made a mistake and I did too."

"You did?"

Beth nodded. "I wanted something I knew from the start you couldn't give it me but I hoped. I held so tight to this stupid ideal it slipped right through my hand. I built it up for months just to watch it fall in minutes."

"What do ya want me to give you?"

"Now?" She shook her head, "Nothing. The damage is done. I told you before I was ready to forgive a lot, almost everything really, except for you being unfaithful. You looked at me and smirked…I saw a cruel man, a man I never thought you could be. There is no coming back from there."

"Maybe there is."

"No there isn't. I loved you and all I wanted was your heart and your trust but you couldn't even give me that."

Merle was taken aback. "Trust ? Ain't nobody in the world I trust more than you x'cept my brother." He shook his head. "You couldn't be more wrong, sweetheart."

"Than why didn't you trust my better judgment when I thought you were the best for me? Why did you let anybody else convince you otherwise? You walk away too easily Merle."

"As for my heart I-"

Beth raised her hand, and shook her head vigorously. "Don't say it…Whatever you'll say would sound wrong and will do nothing more than hurt me."

"Loved?" Merle said as if he just realized what Beth had said.

Beth looked up and tried to keep her eyes locked with his. "What did you expect? Isn't that what you wanted?"

Merle nodded, chewing on his bottom lip. He thought it was what he wanted but when he thought she was pregnant with his child, or when she stupidly ran toward that herd, he realized that he never wanted that. He wanted her to love him, he wanted her to be his. "I want you back," he sighed taking a tentative step in her cell. "I need you."

Beth frowned. Part of her couldn't help but think he was playing her. He needed her? He was just a spoiled child who wanted something he lost. He was showing a soft vulnerable side because he knew that was what she wanted. "You don't need anyone, you said it so many time before, I was just too stupid to hear."

"You don't believe me, do ya?"

"Once trust is broken it can't be restore. It's just-"

"Just what?"

"I didn't want to believe that loving you was just a waste of time you know?"

"It wasn't" he replied voice much rougher than usual as if it physically hurt him to hear that.

"The thing is, you are not completely to blame here. I know it was all in my head, I was reading into thing you never said. I'd like to go…Please."

Merle looked almost hurt, well if he could get hurt by anything anybody told to him which was impossible. "Is there anything I can say or do to change your mind?"

"No…" She whispered and it broke her heart to realize it was the truth.

"Is there anything to add then?" He asked, his voice breaking. He looked so weary that, for the first time Beth, thought he actually looked his age.

She stood and rested her hand on her stomach; she had to tell him the truth. He would know soon enough and she wanted to avoid some unnecessary drama. "Actually there is. It doesn't change anything about what we just said but you were right… I am pregnant."

**Don't kill me lol….There will have a part 3…sort of lol. **


	8. Chapter 8 - the break-up part 3

**A.N:** Hey guys!

As promised the 3rd and last part of my METH break-up. I really hope you like it. Don't forget to review I love reading you.

I still don't own the Walking Dead

Steffy2106

**The Break-Up Part 3**:

Merle was miserable, well beyond miserable. It had been three months since Beth told him she was pregnant; it had been both the best and worst news of his life, the happiest and the most terrifying too.

It was the best because there was a little part of him growing in Beth. A few weeks ago she started showing with a baby bump. Seeing her walking around with her little belly he knew contained their child that whatever would happen between them there would always be something to prove she had loved him once, something that will keep him alive even in death. It was the worst news also, because he didn't get to spend the pregnancy with her. He knew lots of men complained about their wives being pregnant and the Merle he was before would have been more than happy to be off the hook, but strangely enough he wasn't. He wanted to kiss her stomach, he wanted to be here and hold her hair back during her morning sickness, he wanted to feel their baby move in her, and he wanted that family.

Merle never had a family; he had parents like everybody else, but no family. Well, what kind of family could they have had with two drunken drug addicted parents? He had been the one fending for himself and his brother since he was 8 years old.

He told Beth he didn't know how to love her that he couldn't love her, but he waited until he had broken her so bad there was no turning back.

He couldn't deny he was happy to be a father, but at the same time he was scared. He was scared he was going to mess up the kid like his own father messed him and Daryl up. Beth talked to him about that, she had told him he would be okay and that if he wanted to be part of their child's life he was more than welcome to do so. She even went as far as to say she thought he was the kind of father their baby would actually need in the hell the world had become.

He was also terrified to lose her to this pregnancy. He had heard about officer friendly's wife, being pregnant these days was an extreme danger. Hershel had tried to reassure him, telling him he was prepared and that Beth was young and strong. But Merle couldn't help that dread in the pit of his stomach. If he ever lost Beth, especially if she was carrying his child, he wouldn't make it. He would just walk to a herd of walkers and let them do to him what he knew he deserved.

Merle put his shovel aside, wiped his sweaty face with the hem of his wife beater before following Beth with his eyes. She was with her sister and Carol clearly on laundry duty.

"Ya okay?" Asked Daryl looking at his brother's concerned face.

"Stop asking me shit bout my feelin I'm fine." Merle snapped. He was fed up of people concerns and pity. He deserved Beth kicking him to the curb. "I ain't liking her doin' shit in the sun like that is all."

"She's pregnant, not sick."

Merle turned toward his brother and growled. "What d'ya say?"

Daryl took a step back and grabbed his shovel. "Jest sayin she can't stay in her cell all the time."

"She would if I had my say." Merle grumbled.

"Yea I don't think she would ever let you do that. That little thing has a mind of her own."

Merle chucked, standing a little straighter. "Yea I know my girl has fire…Also a reason why I love her." Merle heard a sound and turned to see his brother looking at him, mouth agape with the shovel lying at his feet. "What?!" He barked.

"Ya love her?"

Merle snorted. "Course I do yer retarded?"

Daryl pointed to the general direction Beth took. "I ain't no expert, but I think she'd like to hear that."

Merle let out a wary sigh. "I tried that she didn't even let me open my mouth."

"But what the hell could you have done for her to be so mad?"

"Been myself nothin more."

Daryl shook his head. "The girl love who ya are for some reason, she ain't no fool…She knew ya were a dick from the first day."

"Guess it was jest the last straw, the thing that showed her that lovin me wasn't worth it." Merle had truly believed that once the hurt and anger was gone she would come around; she would realize he didn't mean the shit he did and that it was just his destructive side. Or if at least she let him talk about how he felt. He was ready to be a pussy in front of her. He realized that being away from her hurt him more than admitting his feeling. If telling her everything gave her the power than so be it, he would rather be a pussy man than be without her. It just took him way too long to realize it.

To be honest he thought things had been getting better between them. She had been civil to him, not overly so, but still better than at the start. She was even the one reassuring him on his fatherly quality. He even went out of his way during last week's run to get a few raunchy romance novels she admitted to like. She had been happy he gave her the books and she gave him a small hug, he thought that maybe it was his opening and he gave her a chaste kiss on the mouth, but as soon as his lips touched hers she had stepped away like he had burned her. He had apologized, she had told him it was okay, but she had been avoided him since then.

If he was completely honest he hoped those novels would have helped him get her back. As surprising as it was, he found a book about pregnancies in the prison library and he read that hormones could get women horny. He hoped these novels would get her hot and that she would come to him for her release. Maybe she would remember how good he was to her in bed, how he was getting her satisfied, but no, every night his bed had remained painfully empty. Sometimes when he closed his eyes he wished her there so much he could feel her tiny hands on his body, but it was all in his head.

"You think she doesn't love you anymore?" Daryl laughed. "That's the stupidest thing you ever said and coming from ya that's a lot. The girl loves you just as much as she ever did."

"Oh yea and how you know that uh? Yer like her best friend? You read her diary? Lemme guess you turned Oprah?"

Daryl sighed. "No, Carol told me."

"Awww pillow talk, isn't that fuckin precious. You don't know shit."

"No, you don't know shit! If ya stopped being a poor brooding sob and worked to get her back ya might have her. Carol knows the girl and she told me that she was just as miserable as you are but she is also scared. Dontcha think she is terrified to have a baby alone in this world?"

"She ain't alone I'm here!" Merle roared shoving his brother forcefully. "I'm trying to be here for her, she doesn't let me in."

"Try harder!" Daryl shouted right back shoving Merle too. The group had decided not to mettle, to let them sort things out and Daryl had happily agreed, but now there was time for action. He knew his brother better than anyone and he needed a good kick in the ass. "She doesn't want to listen? Force her to! Ya never been the one to shut yer yapper. Ain't time to start now. Ya fucked up? Nothing new there."

"You don't-" Merle was cut off by a scream of pain, a scream that froze the blood in his veins because he knew the voice only too well it was Beth screaming.

Merle took off without another word, with Daryl following him closely. Merle never ran so fast in his life as his heart stammered in his chest.

He saw Beth on the floor, in the fetal position, her hands on her stomach.

_Please be okay, bab__y__ please__,_ Merle silently begged.

Merle let out a threatening growl when Luke kneeled to lift her.

"I got her." He said icily before kneeling down, using his good arm underneath her knees and his prosthetic on her back. "Go tell Hershel to meet us at the infirmary," he said to Maggie.

Maggie nodded and ran back to the prison.

"It hurts so much," Beth said, face wet with tears.

Her eyes were closed; she probably didn't even realize it was him carrying her. Would she push him away if she did? Merle's heart broke even more in his chest. He was useless, and he would do anything to take her pain away. "It's goin to be okay Angel, yer daddy is gonna make it alright? Y'all see."

"I want our baby Merle. Please make our baby okay." She whispered so low; it seemed she was falling asleep.

His heart tightened painfully as he increased the speed as the doors of block C became visible. Merle shook her gently, he didn't know anything, but he knew she shouldn't fall asleep. "Stay with me Angel please open your eyes. I know it hurts, but stay with me okay?" Merle eyes were starting to burn with unshed tears; he couldn't break down, not now, not ever. He never cried he hadn't shed a tear since he was 7 years old, even when he cut his own damn hand.

When they made it to the infirmary Hershel was already there with a few other people.

"Everybody out!" said Hershel as soon as Merle set Beth on the bed.

Carol took Merle's arm and walked him outside; he didn't try to resist her pulling him away. All he felt was numb.

He leaned against the wall beside the door and let himself slide down to the floor, propping his arms on his knees. He felt cold and numb at the same time, like if he was an outsider watching a very bad movie.

He was looking around when he met concerned blue eyes. It was his brother's woman crouching in front of him. Her mouth was moving, but he couldn't make out the words.

He shook his head. "What?"

Carol rested her hand on his forearm. "I said she is going to be okay. Hershel had spent time studying pregnancies when Lori was here and Jane is a great nurse, Doctor S is here too. She's going to be alright Merle."

Merle nodded.

"She's a tough cookie yer woman." Said Daryl who Merle didn't notice was leaning on the wall beside his brother. "She ain't got scared of you, she got you to behave….Ain't nobody else can do that."

Merle couldn't help but smiled. She never backed down, never got scared of him even when he tried his meanest trick on her. "She is one of a kind."

"And she loves you very much, even if she's not ready to accept it right now." Carol added before standing up and going to stand beside Daryl.

The three of them waited in silence for what seemed to be an eternity for Merle, but probably wasn't more than an hour. Merle wanted to be in there with her, hold her hand whatever happened, but he knew she didn't want him near her, not in that way anyways and he didn't want to cause her stress.

"She wants you." Said Jane popping her head out of the room.

Merle looked up. "Me?"

Jane nodded. "Yes, she has been asking for you since we brought her in."

Merle jumped from his spot on the floor and barged in.

"I'm here sweetheart." He said striding to her bed.

When Beth saw him by her bed she broke down into tears. "Oh Merle I was so scared and it hurt so much. I don't want to lose our baby I love him, he is a part of you and me."

Merle gently caressed her hair and kissed her forehead. "What's goin' on?" He asked Hershel.

"I don't think it's anything major," said Doctor S. "I am not a specialist in obstetric, but it seems to me its Braxton Hicks contractions. It's very painful, but not life threatening, its prodromal labour."

"Okay…." He trailed off feeling his temper flair. "And what the fuck does it means for us normal people?"

"Merle…" Hershel tried.

"It means that she and the baby should be fine; it's just her body's way to tell her to take it easy."

"Oh she's gonna take it easy from now one, I'm gonna make sure of it. Ya okay with that sweetheart?" He asked, but the finality in his voice didn't leave room for discussion.

She nodded. "I'm tired."

Merle sighed wearily. She was feeling better and taking her distance again. "I'll be outside if you need me."

Beth caught his hand. "No I'm tired of pretending to be strong. I don't want to be proud or strong. I want to be with you. I love you."

Merle couldn't believe what he was hearing, had he finally gone mad? Was he hearing these words because he wanted to? He had wanted to hear them more than anything.

Beth moved slightly in the bed as to silently invite him in.

Merle didn't need to be told twice. He kicked off his boots, removed his prosthetic, and climbed on the bed with her.

"I don't think-" Started Doctor S

Merle glared at him after settling his bad arm under Beth's neck and she rested her head in the crook of his neck. "Thanks for everything, but I got her from there."

Hershel shook his head to the Doctor as to tell him to drop it. "Just let us know if you need anything."

Merle simply nodded before wrapping his arm around Beth's waist pulling her closer. It felt so good to have her back in his arms. "See yer gonna be fine sweetheart. Ya scared the bejeesus out of me ya know that? Thought for a second I was gonna lose ya, I can't."

Beth move slightly meeting his eyes. "You can't what?"

"I can't lose ya." He brought his hand to her cheek and rubbed his thumb pad on her bottom lip. "I know ya said ya didn't want to hear it, but I love ya angel, I really do. I didn't know I did cuz I never had love, I don't know how to love ya, but I sure like hell gonna try. Ya believe me right?"

Beth nodded leaning in his touch. "I believe you." She reached for his hand and rested it on her stomach. "And he or she needs you too."

Merle's breath caught in his throat, it was the first time he actually touched her stomach. He rubbed her stomach ever so gently as if he was scared to hurt the baby. "And don't worry, we Dixon are tough, our baby will be jest fine ya'll see. Nothin can kill a Dixon except a Dixon."

Beth smiled and brushed her lips against his. Just having him near made her feel better. How come one person could be the source of both your best and worst moments?

Merle softly caught her bottom lip between his teeth. "God I missed you. I'm so glad you forgave me."

"I think I forgave you a long time ago, I just don't like the woman you're turning me into. It's like there's no sin you could commit that I wouldn't forgive. I don't try to understand anymore, when it comes to you I have no shame. I just…When the pain came I was so scared Merle and the only person I wanted was you, the rest didn't matter, what you did didn't matter. I just wanted you and I know it will always be that way."

"I won't hurt ya no more, never. It's ya and me now."

She placed her head back on his chest. "It's okay if you don't know how to love me, we can learn together."

"I'll never screw up again….Well I will, but never that bad. Yer stuck with me until the end angel."

"That's all I want," she replied closing her eyes letting the weariness take her.

Merle didn't lie, he had been with her every step of the way and on a beautiful June day little Joshua Daryl Dixon was born.

If you asked Merle he would tell you he didn't faint and Beth swore to take his secret to the grave.


	9. Chapter 9 - Falling

**A.N: **Hey guys!

This chapter has been inspired by the song Fallin by Alicia Keys**. **

**Please note it's the first time ever I try to write SMUT seriously I never even wrote a descriptive sex scene before. So let me know what you think. Feedback will be more than welcome! I want to get better.**

Thanks

Steffy2106

**Fallin' Alicia Keys. **

Beth sighed longingly, letting the bed sheet she was washing fall heavily in water.

She looked at Merle, Tyreese and Daryl leaving the prison for their four days hunting trip. The winter would be here soon and they wanted to get as much dry meat as they could before the first snow.

"What's wrong?" Asked Karen with a frown, following Beth's eyes. "You know they'll come back safe. You know I love my Tyreese and do you see me worried? No you don't."

"No it's just…" She shrugged. " Nevermind."

Karen sat closer from Beth. "Come on talk to me, you can trust me."

Beth looked at Karen thoughtfully. It was true that, when the group found out about Merle and her, Karen was one of the only who didn't voice any opinion about them being together. Now the people closer to her still didn't like it but they had accepted it but it still meant she had no woman she could confide in. She knew already what they would say…._'He is a lost cause, just dump his ass and find someone better'_ but this was certainly not helpful to her because she loved him and even if he broke her heart sometimes he was also making her so happy at the same time.

"I love him you know." Beth said out loud. It was actually the first time she said that to anyone but him.

Karen smiled. "Yea I figured that one."

"I just don't think he is in this relationship as much as I am." She admitted biting her bottom lip guiltily.

"You know love is hard, and in our world even more and-" Karen chuckled "you didn't really go for the easier man. That guy has so many issues, I mean he is a challenge for sure but… no matter what he says he loves you too he just doesn't know how to show it."

"I told him I loved him."

"And what did he say?"

Beth blushed furiously. "He...I… You know…" He had been extra giving that time, making her come so hard she thought she was going to pass out but he never told her he loved her too.

Karen laughed softly. "He made love to you?"

Beth flushed even more; her skin was burning with her embarrassment. "Yeah… that."

"Don't be embarrassed with me, we're both women and I know men like Merle, I dated men like Merle the way to their heart is through their dicks…the way to their brains too come to think of it."

Beth jaw went slack. She never expected Karen to be so crude. "Karen!"

"What? It's true!"

"It's just, loving him is making me so confused. I never loved someone the way I love him. He can give me so much pleasure but he can also cause me so much pain."

"What do you mean?"

"He is not hurting me or anything, not physically. He would never hit me!" She remembered one day they had been arguing and he had moved his arm a bit fast. Beth had flinched. When Merle realized she had been scared of him hitting her he had been even more furious. '_I never hit no woman and I ain't never gonna hit ya._' He had said. He had been so mad he hadn't talked to her for 3 days after that.

"Today for example, he woke up made love to me… I told him to be careful he just shrugged it off and see he just left without even saying goodbye. He seems to think that I'm lucky to be with him that my physical pleasure is all that matters, I feel like a fool sometimes even if I know…damn it I know he loves me." She wanted to hit him sometimes, every time after she came he was whispering to her the same things '_Ain't ya lucky to be with ol' Merle, I make ya scream, don't I darling? Nobody will make you cum the way I do'._

"He treats you like you're his?"

"And I am, I would never consider another man but…"

"You want more."

Beth simply nodded.

"I meant it before… This man love you it's a given but –" She smiled. "Beth trust me, if you do everything I tell you to do, you'll bring Merle Dixon to his knees."

Beth smiled. "I would love that."

Karen nodded and winked. "One more question…What's your size?"

**TWDTWDTWDTWD **

It was four days of hell and when they came back, with enough meat to last for months his brother woman's Carol and Karen were waiting for them to give them a big and wet welcome back kiss.

Merle frowned not seeing Beth. He thought she would be the first in line, he could almost imagined her running and jumping in his arms not caring if he was tired, sore and smelling like death.

His heart started to accelerate with worry.

"Where's Beth?" He asked, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably.

Daryl snickered which earned him a major punch in the shoulder.

"I don't know" Said Carol "but she is okay, I saw her for lunch."

Karen smiled. "Yea but I think she went for a nap, she didn't have much sleep last night."

"The baby again?" Merle asked not able to hide his exasperation. Beth didn't have the baby that much anymore but when she did it was like a fucking chastity belt and no matter how much he whined those nights his dick was remaining in his pants. But he didn't touch his angel for the past four days, there was no way in hell he would keep it in his pants tonight, baby or not.

Karen smiled wickedly," No… not really." She replied grabbing Tyreese hand and pulling him toward block D hoping that Merle had taken the bait.

Merle had rushed to the cell he was sharing with Beth, he wanted to play it cool and he knew she would be mortified not to have come and met him… Maybe she would feel bad enough that she would go down on him. He had tried to convince her a few time but never managed. Just the thought of her soft lips around his cock hardened him but his cell was painfully empty and the bed cold.

"Beth!" He called but he just got an angry 'shhh' from the sheriff kid.

Merle grabbed some clean clothes and was in a sour mood when he went to the showers. Where the fuck was his girl?

His anger didn't get any better as he scrubbed the grim off his body. Was she upset? He growled. He didn't do shit to make her mad. Okay maybe he had not said goodbye when he left for the hunting trip but really what did she expect? Was it because he hadn't told her he loved her? Was she just so insecure that she needed to hear it?

Merle was giving her everything he had in bed, making her squirm and ask for more. He knew what she loved and he was doing it to her… He made hey come so hard a couple of time she almost passed out in his arms.

Merle was extremely gifted in bed and he knew it but he never tried to make a woman satisfied before. Before he met her he had always been selfish in the sack, only wanting his own pleasure and if the woman came good for her, if not he couldn't care less. But it was Beth and he wanted to give the best of himself, he wanted to make sure he had something on the other men, something that would keep her with him. He was not the brightest, the youngest or the hottest… He was certainly not the nicest, the kindest or the funnier and he had known from the start she could do much better.

He couldn't tell her what she wanted to hear, it was like a curse on his lips, every person he ever loved either hurt him, got hurt by him or died. Couldn't she read in his gestures, in his kiss what he wouldn't admit out loud? Did she have to always be so stubborn?

Merle punched the wall after turning off the water.

He dried himself forcefully as his anger built up, he was set to find her and to make her explain why she was mad. He shouldn't' care, he should just let her calm down and come back sheepishly to him when she'll need some sweet release because he knew she should, it was what he always did but not with her, not anymore. His angel was toxic and she had poisoned him with her sweet lips and he was now addicted to her and no matter how hard he tried to convince himself he was the big bad Merle but she was under his skin even if he was too proud to admit it out loud.

He zipped up his cargo pant, turned to reach for his shirt but he froze as Beth was standing in front of him. She was wearing one of his shirts, it was so long it was dress on her, her hair was down and her legs bare.

"Angel where the hell –"

Beth raised her finger to her lips to shush him.

"Beth I –"

"Merle just shut up or-"

"Or what angel?"

Beth removed for her shirt with shaky hands and threw it on the floor. She was wearing the red thong and red lace bra that Karen stole for her at Victoria secret.

Beth smiled at Merle sharp intake of breath. She took a deep breath calming herself as she saw the desire in his eyes and she knew his cock was hardening in his pants.

"Or you won't get that." She replied setting Rick's ipod on the side of the sink and Alicia Keys "Fallin" filled the room.

Merle cock was so hard it was painful. She was a vision of dream in this sexy lingerie and messy hair that was falling in the middle of her back. She was the sexiest woman he has ever seen. He didn't know what game she was playing right now, but he intended to let her play.

"Sit now" she said pointing to the bench and she started to walk toward him swaying her hips as Karen showed her.

Beth came to stand between his legs. He raised his hand and rested it on her hip.

Beth shook her head. "No you don't touch, I decide when you do."

"Yes mam…" Merle replied getting more and more excited.

Beth trailed her hand in his curly hair and pulled his face between her breasts.

Her skin was soft and smelling like vanilla, Merle started to lick and nibble at her breast through the bra. When he started to suck on her right nipple Beth sighed, arching her back. This man had such a power on her, he was making her wet just using his mouth.

She pulled away making him growl in frustration.

Beth smiled, kneeling in between Merle's leg.

Merle was looking down at her, mesmerized as she rubbed his thighs up and down. Was she about to do what he thought she would?

Beth opened his pants and freed his cock, already hard as stone. She tried to remember everything that Karen had explained her. She brought her tongue out and licked the tip of his cocky tentatively.

Merle hissed when he felt her hot pink tongue on him.

Beth swirled her tongue around the tip as if it was a cherry lollipop. Merle thrust his hips as Beth circled him with her lips.

Beth wrapped her hand at the base as she knew she wouldn't ever fit his massive cock down her throat but she would try as much as she could. She let her hand follow the same rhythm than her mouth.

Merle growls and shallow breathing assured her she was doing it right. Merle's brought his hand to her hair and fisted it, for her to increase her speed.

Merle pulled her away just before he came, his woman was on fire he wanted more, he wanted to give her more.

"I want to play too sweetheart." He pulled her up before kneeling in front of her, removing her underwear. He spread her legs and started to kiss the inside of her left thigh. "You smell so good, you taste so good….So good I want to eat you. " He added before burying his face in her soft blond curls letting his tongue run up and down her slit, sucking softly at her bundle of nerve making her whimper.

As her legs started to shake, Merle wrapped his arms around her butt to keep her in place as he fucked her with his tongue.

Beth eyes rolled as she screamed her orgasm. Merle stood up, licking her juice of his lips. "You really taste as good as you look."

"Turn around baby" he said taking off his pants.

Beth realized she had lost the control but she didn't mind one bit.

She turned around resting her hands on the wall as he wrapped his stump around her waist.

Merle slammed into her in one thrust, making her scream in both pleasure and pain. "Let me ride you baby."

Beth showed her approval by arching her back sticking his butt out.

Merle was much rougher than he ever been, grunting every time he slammed into her. He was going so hard that Beth stood on her toes as she felt like he was stretching her to her limits but she loved it. Who would have thought she would love the pleasurable pain his roughness was giving her?

Merle brought his good hand up and started to pull at her nipple. "Come for me baby, scream my name."

"Merle! Come in me Merle, I want everything in me." She turned her head to the side. "I love you" she said breathlessly as she tightened around his cock with an explosive orgasm.

Merle tightened his hold around her waist, thrusting hard one last time before releasing his seed in her. He closed his eyes. "I love ya too" he whispered as if he had lost the war before kissing the pearls of sweat running down her neck. "Yer mine, forever."

Beth froze, resting her forehead against the wall, closing her eyes. Merle had just said the words she had wanted to hear… Karen had been right after all, the way to Merle's heart had been through his dick.


End file.
